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alanmachnik.bsky.social
Engineering Director. Comedy Writer. Husband. Father. 70% bacon, 40% bad at arithmetic. Once fired from Ann Summers for getting Chas and Dave to do a stock take...
455 posts 166 followers 134 following
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The funeral is performed by Father Duncan.
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If someone dies from eating too many doughnuts, their funeral is held at a Krispy Kremeatorium.
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Also, the Accessible toilet doesn't have a handle on the outside!? 🤔
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The first transgender spy was Elizabethan Hunt.
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The first stunt rider was Medieval Knievel.
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The first networking on record was by Abraham LinkedIn.
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The first sitcom was Georgian Mildred.
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The first chocolate bar was a Caramaic.
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True. You never know who she's bean with.
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Dip it in some chick's pea? 🤔
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I know. I'm at that age where I'd just snap like a stale breadstick during the first attempt.
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I don't know about over, but after a short rest I'd be ready for seconds.
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Yes, but I must warn you that pulling it leads to a very loud bang!
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No, more of a cream-filled cracker.
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Yes, but I don't have ginger nuts.
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I'm more interested in a S'moresome.
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Matron.
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The male version is Jawshua.
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He would be great. However, we seem to take so long to get a deal done with anyone it just frustrates the fans.
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It should have been last season. This season is fucked unless there's some red hot striker action on the horizon.
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Si, senor. How's things with you?
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My mate tells me he wastes most of his spare time digging a deep hole & filling it with water. I think he means well.
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Ironically, U2's lead singer must retain amateur status to allow him to be paid for performances.