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barrsteve.bsky.social
Writer / producer / procrasturbator
1,404 posts 626 followers 680 following
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The evolution of aspect ratio vimeo.com/68830569 #filmsky

"I can't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones." - John Cage

The first 30 pitch meetings you go on are going to suck. The trick is to get to 31 as quickly as possible. #scriptsky #filmsky

I wish I had male pattern baldness on my back.

Methane is lighter than air. So if you want to lose weight, hold in your farts. #science

In women, good looks can easily be mistaken for charisma. In men, charisma can easily be mistaken for good looks.

I've been living in New Zealand for more than 15 years now. And I still can't believe that the country that calls redheads "gingers" also chooses to have a cookie called "ginger nuts."

You matter. (Unless you're moving at the square of the speed of light, in which case - you energy.)

Executive Producer and Screenwriter are the two loneliest people at the wrap party. No one knows who they are. #scriptsky #filmsky

Wearing glasses makes you look smart. That's why I wear three pairs of glasses at once, so everyone will think I'm a genius.

What if you met the woman of your dreams, but they were the kind of weird-ass dreams you get after eating too much spicy food?

I used to be a werewolf, but I'm okay nowoooOOOOOOOOO!

Me: "I don't believe in telepathy." My friend: "I knew you were going to say that."

Anything not nailed down is mine. Anything I can pry loose is not nailed down.

"Those who manage their way into a crisis are not necessarily the right people to manage their way out of a crisis." ~ Albert Einstein

If infinite monkeys had written HAMLET by happenstance, the characters in the play would have invented the idea of Shakespeare.

ATTN: MEN - If you overhear a woman describing some part of you as "long and thick," make sure she isn't talking about your back hair.

I try to be ineffable. But so far it's all too easy for people to eff me.

As a professional writer, people are often surprised to learn that English is my second language. ‬ ‪My first language was mostly grunts and wails. ‬

In honor of Alan Turing's birthday, try to guess which of your followers are bots!

Someone called me a boob today. I was really flattered. Because boobs are awesome.

Money can't buy happiness, but it sure can keep you entertained while you're miserable.

I am tall, dark, and handsome. Just not all at once.

If the Devil went down to Georgia ... doesn't that mean that Georgia is even lower than Hell? Damn, Charlie Daniels, that's harsh.

"Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please." ~Mark Twain

Dear screenwriter: Wreckless driving isn't the same as reckless driving. Kind of the opposite, actually.

The rest of the world thinks about America the way America thinks about Florida.

We apologize for this brief lapse of reality.

Hollywood survival tip #87: If it smells like roofies, drink it anyway. Just get cell video of the giver, for future negotiations.

My body hair has gotten to an unruly length, must trim soon. Some cancer kid is gonna get a *great* new wig!

Alfred Pennyworth is Batman's batman.

The most annoying thing about clickbait is that it works.

‪TV pitch: It's the character arc of Breaking Bad, but instead of being a chemistry teacher he’s a rookie cop, and instead of making meth he’s a cop‬

@tedelliott.bsky.social Long time no see. I hope things are groovy with you.

The A.I. Bros who refuse to acknowledge that training A.I up on the internet (which is racist and sexist) will create A.I. that is racist and sexist have a good reason for their refusal: It would force them to admit that the internet has trained them to be racist and sexist themselves.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all witnesses.

They say it's a dog-eat-dog world. But what if the people who say that just want an excuse to act like a dog?

The trick to having great ideas is to have a lot of ideas and the willingness to ignore almost all of them.