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bestatbeinghumble.bsky.social
My spirit animal was shot in the head two weeks ago and is starting to smell My favorite position in bed is fetal
60 posts 21 followers 3 following
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Watching this administration is like watching a modern day sitcom except the show isn't funny and the writers are lazy... wait At least the cast in sitcoms aren't being spied on by the Pentagon

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

What a fun way to learn your dad has an inflation kink #LMAO

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

Of course Miami doesn't want the tush push banned, South Beach would be in shambles

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

Trump seems to believe there is a South African conspiracy of murdering white farmers because of a clip of one person in Parliament singing for it Well we have one congresswomen who jerked off a dude in a theater, what does what make us #joke

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

You are a Senator Rick, those same people you are complaining about pay you $200k to not work

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

Grok is writing like a sleep deprived hostage just moments away from breaking into a manic episode from cabin fever

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

This coming from the man that looks like he has a 2 Terabyte Hard drive filled with inflation porn

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

Its always nice to see Politicians hit their Tim Curry phase

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

Watching the news about the tariffs feels a lot like watching Bugs and Daffy argue which hunting season it was at gun point US: China Tariffs China: US Tariffs US: China Tariffs China: China Tariffs US: US Tariffs China: Deal #comedy#tariffs#tariffwar

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

Car is in the shop and it feels like a love one is in the hospital Got a call, never gone through the stages of grief so fast "We have some bad new-" Oh let me guess, you found "something" YOU THINK IM A FOOL! Does the car actually need that? Why does this always happen to me 😭 $1850... just do it

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

@foxnews.com.web.brid.gy I gotta ask, when you hire female anchors do you dye their hair blonde before or after the intense rounds of electroshock therapy

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

So we got a new pope... It wasn't Sarah 🥲 How are we supposed to spread Catholicism without the Staff of Sarah it has +4 INT AND +2 CHA You'll just had to vote in Emperor Palpatine

submitted 22 days ago • 0 comments

They are calling Marco Rubio the "Secretary of Everything" What is more American than a white dude dumping all his work on a Hispanic man

submitted 27 days ago • 0 comments

They say Kash Patel's lazy eye always faces the constitution o7

submitted 27 days ago • 0 comments

Pam Bondi, what can I say, Head of the DOJ at 59 years of age. How does she manage to remain composed when the weight of the world is on her knees

submitted 27 days ago • 0 comments

RFK Jr was asked recently what qualifications he had to run the Department of Health and Human Services he said, "Me?! None, but the worm in my brain has been practicing medicine for 30 years"

submitted 27 days ago • 0 comments

Elon Musk just told Fox News that in just a few months Tesla models will be full self driving. This is the biggest news Elon has given since last year when Elon said that in just a few months Tesla models will be full self driving and in 2023 when Elon said Tesla models will be full self driving

submitted 27 days ago • 1 comment

Starlink has become more popular in retail stores across the country This is a huge win! Prior to this, the only time I could watch porn in a furniture store was to follow JD Vance into the couch and sofa section

submitted 27 days ago • 0 comments

Tik Tok is Crazy, there really isn't a place where you can get such a diverse amount of information so quickly You want medical advice, Doctors in every field post information all the time

submitted 29 days ago • 1 comment

I feel since the history of man Darwin's theory of natural selections- survival of the fittest has been locked down tight Zoomers were the first generation that made me think we needed to add a caveat These little fuckers are ingesting poison for sport Modern medicine may have gone too far

submitted 30 days ago • 0 comments

I was so excited to find out I was going to be an uncle Its truly only a feeling that can only be outdone for someone in Alabama Think about it, they are finding out that they are going to be an uncle and a father at the same time

submitted 30 days ago • 0 comments

I always forget my coworkers names, so i started using pet names around the office. I think everyone has been pretty receptive to it. "Oh, Botox Reject, I'll get those files to you by end of day" Its working so well that HR wants to see me Friday Afternoon, probably to ask for some pointers

submitted 30 days ago • 0 comments

I'm often told that I'm vulgar, what do you want me to say to that? Its 2025, I just came out of a bar where a couple of people were playing a game of, "how far can I stick my tongue down your throat" I think I can toss around the word "fuck" a couple of times and still remain tasteful

submitted 30 days ago • 0 comments

Turns out if you wear the right sunglasses you could take your dog anywhere

submitted 30 days ago • 0 comments

Seeing a lot of people on the internet want to know what Karl Marx would think of this current climate of macroeconomics. Personally I think is he was alive today that would be the last thing on his mind, since he would probably put all of his effort into clawing his way out of his coffin

submitted 32 days ago • 0 comments

Guys, I recently found out I was a magician. The weird thing is though, my powers only work around my girlfriend. Like I'll turn my head and all of a sudden my hoodie disappears. Same thing with my sunglasses, and fries on my plate, or any ice cream in my fridge. How do i control my new powers?

submitted 32 days ago • 0 comments

I was ready to be a better man To change the world for the better To devote my life to world peace Then i received an "urgent" work email over the weekend Well now I'm going to make a small child cry-I hope you are happy with yourself

submitted 32 days ago • 0 comments

Zoomers will never know the pain of creating a ringtone from your favorite song. Having the radio play it, having your friends stay quite during the part of the song that "changed your life", and pause it perfectly. Then when it finally rings in public you scramble to answer in embarrassment

submitted 34 days ago • 1 comment

Some Republican Senators joined the Democrats to rescind the Canadian Tariffs. This is the first time a Republican switched sides and wasn't arrested in an Airport bathroom.

submitted 34 days ago • 0 comments

Remember, body language is important. Sure, the man in my basement is screaming for help, but his eyes are telling me he's doing just fine.

submitted 35 days ago • 0 comments