blahblahellis.bsky.social
Dad, husband, journo, TV producer, WIP.
Australia.
71 posts
309 followers
680 following
Getting Started
Active Commenter
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Stokkies.
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That’s a pass! I’ll take it!
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I would ace that first test:
1. Where you buy drugs on teh interwebz.
2. Can’t remember, probably because of drugs bought on teh interwebz
3. To sell drugs on teh interwebz
4. Pretty wild.
5. People would get wasted and buy loads of unecessary stuff on Temu.
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I hear ya. Spike Milligan’s death hit me.
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DON’T EVEN START ME!!!
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Also there’s regular “come get a free plant” promotions, eg:
www.kingston.vic.gov.au/environment/...
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Fwiw it’s quite common In Australia for local councils or state governments to make native plants a “must have” option on a new home or garden build. We had to have 70% natives in our recent build to get landscaping approved. BUT we also have free native plant nurseries available.
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Police 10/7, the NZ take on this format, is also brilliant. There’s a scene where the cops confront a kid about to make a terrible life choice that is just hilarious. (Note: “Safer Communities Together” was the official slogan of NZ police for years)
m.youtube.com/watch?v=vyiM...
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Side note, that pub on the left with the AC/DC billboard serves great beer and you can visit a true Australian icon on level one. That would be the portrait of Chloe, a painting that was toasted by many, many Aussie soldiers on their way to war.
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I understand it was probably done to save space, but I had to read this three or four times to decipher the abbreviations, shortcuts and slang.
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Hi there, Australian here. We have free pre-school (or kindergarten, as we call it) and if anyone tried to cancel it we’d set the kangaroos of war loose.
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I just did the same thing! Best part was when I asked my kids (they have a day off school today for some reason) what they wanted and one said two pieces of chicken, “but not wings, the other ones, the ones that look like an emoji”.
He meant this:
🍗
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Needs one of those alliterative words cartoonists come up with to perfectly capture the sound of what is happening on the page. You know, like this:
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Hang on… Pismo Beach is a real place? I thought it was just a made up Bugs Bunny place like Alberkirky and the Cat Spa.
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No idea if this is true or not (and it reads like parody) but I was working in a dodgy suburb of Melbourne with cops recently, on one of those drink/drive/busted reality shows and the neighbours across the road started shooting oranges from a cannon at us. One took my headphones off. Cops went nuts.
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Update: I still have no idea.
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Pretty much anything by the Chili Peppers. It’s always something like “Jiffy lube, can of food, met her in a plate from Asia, CALIFORNIA! Loofa scraper wiggle ball, hammer llama poop tank CALIFORNIA!”
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Ok, now you’ve done it. We’re sending the kangaroos over.
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Worst part is how literally anyone could see this happening. You watch - Someone will spout a poached version of Bill Pullman’s Independence Day speech in a few weeks. “Today is the 4th of July and you are once again fighting for our freedom” etc. the whole shitshow is just so predictable.
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Shoutout to the “my cat is alllwed to destroy the local ecosystem” guys who pop up equally fast. Given that cats have been in Australia for a couple of hundred years at most and kill about a billion local animals a year (no exaggeration, Google it), I think I’ll keep posting.
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Are you familiar with the Aussie obsession with that song? We learn the dance at school (it was part of the curriculum at one stage) and it’s almost mandatory that it gets played at social events. You could play it at a funeral and the corpse would get up.
No kidding:
www.abc.net.au/news/2024-05...
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It totally is a hot metal hangover. The copy that was sent to the typesetter went into a little metal cylinder that got sent down a pneumatic tube. I worked on the last hot metal paper in Aus as a kid and still have one of the copy cylinders. But you’re right, 99% or writers now go “ENDS? WTAF?”
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Typesetter, telex room and spike the spare for safety. I was a copyboy for a year, then cadet, now journo for a few decades and I STILL write ENDS out of habit. It’s so ingrained I don’t even know I’m doing it, have to go back and remove every single time.
Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.
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On the stacks of copy paper (five sheets or paper, four of carbon) they typed each par on so the subeditors and typesetters knew to either wait for more or wrap it up. As each par was done, they’d yell “Copy!” and a copyboy would grab it, separate the pages and take to the editor, deputy editor 2/3
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Finally, something I know about! I would guess those PR officers are ex media. It’s quite common for old-school journos to write ENDS or NNNN (as in “Ns”, ie ENDS) when they finish something. It’s a hangover from when stories were filed par by par and either had MTC (more to come) or ENDS 1/3
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Cut and paste this:
Dear friend, thank you so much for your email. Yes, we are proud of the work we do here and your support means a lot. I will pass on your kind thoughts to the team and if you wish to, please find a link to our Ko-Fi account below. Kind regards.
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I wonder if Americans actually understand how weird it is for visitors to see those ads. They’re so bizarre… Like the moment in High Potential recently where a serious conversation between two women was punctuated by this little gem…
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Was literally just thinking the same thing. I know all about Kendrick and Seal but no score at all. Brilliant!
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The matrix is failing and Lansbury is the key, remember the line “follow the white rabbit” in The Matrix? Fact: Lansbury was saved by a magician who turned into a white rabbit in Bedknobs and Broomsticks. Fact: Paul McCartneys wife Linda bought him a white rabbit after their first date.
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You know there’s a whole internet thing about Paul McCartney and Angela Lansbury being twins separated at birth, right?
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Angela Lansbury wasn’t always Jessica Fletcher…
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You raced Speedway? Impressive! I try to stick to bikes that have brakes!!
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I can imagine. My Dad had a crash repair shop back through the 70s and sponsored some bikes and cars, we went to the speedway every week and that smell instantly transports me through time.
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“Like a 1970s speedway bike” takes me straight back to AdelIde’s old Rowley Park. That smell is INSTANTLY recognizable!
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*loved
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Its true though. What do I want for 2025? A Palmer romance! He deserves it.
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Three whole macadamias. THREE!
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This reminds me of the time I sorted “mixed nuts” to see what the mix actually was.
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Current favourite Aus ska/punk band is Admiral Ackbar’s Dishonorable Discharge. As Molly would say, do yourself a favour.