blinkpen.bsky.social
31 yo sapphic drawing creature
i am a system w schizophrenia please be kind
1,429 posts
1,641 followers
88 following
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Can we go Ants from A Bugs Life -Now-
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I didn’t catch the full initial outburst of Zebra drama bc I was like Watching it and didn’t think to record till they Mostly calmed down
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Preening
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Less relevant to life but relevant to interests bc I like turtle
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The first photos I’d taken while there feel like serendipity now. Meerkat goes “ ?! “
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lamarr for ants...
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just really sucks every in-patient facility that's willing/capable of treating psychotic disorders without being completely dehumanizing is for rich people only, while an aggregation of the "top rated" places that might take insurance upon inspection have funny farm yelp scores of 2.6 out 5
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i've been in mental hospitals multiple times before and the last time while a long time ago was such a fucking cloaked-abuse nightmare i told myself i'd do anything to not end up back in one ever again but shit's just that excruciating when the excruciated brain is active
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triggered badly enough i might end myself on a bad impulse if the means are immediately available just to make the confused anguish spike stop
and no matter where i go there's either ptsd triggers or people who make it their miniquest to trigger a breakdown to. feel epic and empowered. i guess.
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sometimes my sentences get obtuse entirely as a result of me having to think of new metaphors to fit in the character limit of a social media website's public message delivery mechanism. now see that time i had spare space.
ok. time to stop anxiously stop dicking around w my phone for the evening,
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i've had to compartmentalize too hard too often in my life to survive, i think. still keeps happening, unfortunately. sometimes the puzzle of articulating viscerally felt emotions through ever so slightly oddly worded sentences is like a loading screen minigame for the process.
see like right there
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i'm gonna cry for real from the perfect timing for an emotional mood counter on the situation going on where i am atm to not freak out or panic, thank you, she looks so good. she's radiating like. batman energy 😭❤️
but even drawing for me aside, it's so good to see you drawing again buddy <3
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this is like an monochromatic art piece to me i'd hang this in a frame on my wall its really pleasing to look upon
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sometimes the motivation isn't money or power, per se. sometimes it's "i shouldn't be expected to have to do anything and nobody should be allowed to be mad at me"
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pretends that car creep was not Terrifying by comparing it to the bojack gag where kelsey n justin are conversing in a tiny "smoking allowed" area drawn with chalk by a dumpster n whenever either misplaces A Foot outside the line a rando passerby will scowl and perform a paggro fake coughing fit
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(the person in the creeping vehicle then rolled the window down to chastise me over the fact i was smoking- in a location it should be fine to do so- but her having to smell any whiff of it on the wind for a few seconds warrants this reaction anyway. i didn't want trouble so i put it out n left)
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Shits always been bad bc America has always been bad and it can’t get better if people give up but like. Holy shit dude. Can society as a whole just have a sit.
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It hard to say bc the decline kicked off after long Covid caused me to have a stroke in my damn 20s but the advent of Covid goes hand in hand w so much of the political landscape that’s been bringing us to these awful place
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i don't want to GM but would still love to join a oneshot some time still,
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i got reminded of these doodles by something else and went to dig them out of my archive and i learned they officially turned 10 years old, Yesterday
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getting forms asking what name i'd like used for me in the credits of something and i just stare at the forms for ten minutes at a time, several times, for days, still stumped