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caffeinatedcop.bsky.social
Police Officer. Drinker of coffee. Former military. Home brewer.
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All things being fair, that whirlwind romance lasted longer than anyone actually expected. The only question left is who gets stuck with custody of Eric and Don Jr.

Scrooge McDonalds telling people what they need while he shits on a golden toilet.

Roasted 🔥

Canada’s biggest win over Russia since 1972.

I say this torn, as a believer in heavily restricted & licenced firearm ownership, but I think those typically adverse to gun ownership should be considering their options while they still have them. You’re staring down the figurative barrel of what the 2nd Amendment intended. Nudge to Canadians too

I can only hope that Trump will not be invited to the G7 conference happening in Canada this year.

In a nail biting race to the bottom, Donald Trump is on track to be the worst president in American history, quickly closing the gap on the current title holder, Donald Trump.

I’m reminded of interviews with holocaust survivors who were asked why the Jews just didn’t pick up and leave when Hitler first came to power.

Elon might as well go all in at this point.

The people who make washing machine timers must have the same concept of time as my kids. “1 minute”;

If Elon was any softer, the My Pillow Guy would sue him for copyright infringement.

Don’t engage the idiots. Just block and move on. That’s why Twitter became a cesspool. Engagement driven outlandish posts that got boosted by raging and shaming replies. They know it works. The stupider it is, the more engagement they get. Ignore, block, they die off. Zero attention is key.

If they actually cared about protecting women and children from sexual violence, people committing rape (and invading teenage girls dressing rooms) wouldn’t be their presidential candidates and the Catholic Church would be in ashes.

Yeah the foreseeable future looks dangerous and bleak. But I take comfort knowing that if I die, at least it won’t be in a Tesla.

Would have seen a better fight if I worked downtown tonight.

I don’t know a lot about the field of statistics but I feel like the next several years will be fucking dynamite for Statisticians. Also Denturists.

Find someone that looks at you like you left and were never coming home again (after selfishly abandoning them for 6 whole minutes).

I worked a front desk briefly between assignments, during the start of & peak of the toilet paper hoarding craziness of COVID. For those who don’t know, front desk is the plexiglass partitioned, talk through the hole in the glass, desk where people would come into a station and speak with a cop.

45 - 47 written on the whiteboard of someone’s office door in my building. Someone’s office, on a floor dedicated entirely to organized crime. If it survives the weekend, I’ll be adding “explains why half of our files are shit”.

Little girl two houses down singing at the top of her lungs. The boys in the yard tell her to be quiet. “I’M A GIRL, I CAN DO WHAT I WANT!!” Fuck yeah kid. You tell ‘em.

America fell to Russia before Ukraine. Practically handed them the keys.

I find it hard to believe that Rapeosaurus Rex, who’s been testing the fences of election integrity for 4 years, didn’t put some of that knowledge to use and learn how to open doors.