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cranberrysmith.bsky.social
Normal man Cranberry motherfuckin Smith.
171 posts 50 followers 52 following
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Posts 12 Comments 38

It's that time of year again when the heat has me ripping my sweaty asscheeks off the leather couch like a bandaid.

submitted 16 hours ago • 0 comments

I got stopped on my way home today by a guy who says he's the county penis inspector? Idk he said mine's up to code, but I'm not sure if he's properly accredited.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Where the hell is this guy? I thought we were supposed to tussle in front of the Home Depot

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Actually, the music is the only thing I like about Seinfeld. It makes me wanna bust it down, Cranberry style. I couldn't give any less of a fuck about those 4 horrible shitheads who just sit and talk about nothing.

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

"Cranberry Smith, you need to stop eating chicken sandwiches every fucking day." -My Doctor

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

I'm sorry I don't always post frequently. The neighbors keep changing their wifi password.

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

Maybe I should get pregnant so I can make Mother's Day all about me tomorrow.

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

Yeah yeah, Ohtani is a good player and all, but has he ever managed to get the first 6 inches of a baseball bat up there? Because I have.

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

If the new pope says it's okay to operate a vehicle while intoxicated, I will convert to Catholicism. I really would like a religious exemption.

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

I forgot it was Cinco de Mayo, and I don't have any mayo to sink! FUCK!

submitted 16 days ago • 1 comment

Just know Cranberry Smith is very pro-choice because I would've chosen to go into a waste bucket over shopping for Mother's Day.

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

Being a man really is so hard, guys. My balls always get twisted when I walk.

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments