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crimesididntcommit.bsky.social
she/her. veronica/crimes. MDNI. florida-based trans musician and artist. #1 angst queen. living art project. they put that party in me! music + ticket links here: https://linktr.ee/crimesididntcommit
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the lego company has been studying my moves for years

submitted 27 minutes ago • 0 comments

a few thousand dollars and a calendar month in a cute little house surrounded by beautiful nature without having to see a single other human being on earth would fix me

submitted 54 minutes ago • 0 comments

blade runner 2 made the bold prediction that in the future people will wear white rectangles on the center of their faces, implying a big shift in fashion

submitted 1 hour ago • 0 comments

me almost every day for the last two months:

submitted 1 hour ago • 1 comment

i broke into the library in the middle of the night and saw mandy patinkin with his bare butt on the photocopier while three babes poured double ipas down a funnel into his mouth and he balanced ten books in each outstretched hand, emphasizing the importance of reading for a fully lived life

submitted 1 hour ago • 1 comment

remember in 2020 when people were acting like having an imagination meant they were shifting between realities lol

submitted 1 hour ago • 0 comments

i’m invoking the love and appreciate me act

submitted 1 hour ago • 0 comments

7 hours of audio of eddie trunk’s cpap machine just got mailed to me on reel to reel tape, but sure, “celebrities aren’t better than us”

submitted 1 hour ago • 0 comments

if i suddenly won a million dollars i’d get my friend a shirt that says “i’d rather be at the grill”

submitted 2 hours ago • 0 comments

these were meant to be separate posts, but two hearts now beat as one

submitted 4 hours ago • 0 comments

these were meant to be separate posts, but two hearts now beat as one

submitted 4 hours ago • 0 comments

shoutout to the grocery store checkout guy loudly arguing about sperm count alec baldwin is filling my bathtub with scotch on the rocks

submitted 4 hours ago • 0 comments

love, sex, connection??? who needs all that when drowning lessons by my chemical romance exists????

submitted 5 hours ago • 0 comments

don’t fathom my being bro

submitted 6 hours ago • 0 comments

every single thing everyone else claims will fulfill me just leaves me empty and hollow and bitter except for music, but that’s all about to change once i pilot great wings into the stars

submitted 6 hours ago • 0 comments

[about to get banned from a coffee shop] nice matcha, ya drink it with boys???

submitted 6 hours ago • 0 comments

if you or a loved one were exposed to christian ska, you may be entitled to compensation

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

dash rendar, save me; kit fisto, save me!!!

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

almost forgot how great this song is

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

had a dream last night that i was in a rental car agency lobby and bret easton ellis was sitting at a piano half-singing half-speaking i can’t smile without you by barry manilow at three confused people while i watched breaking bad playing on mute on a tv on the wall

submitted 7 hours ago • 0 comments

this isn’t the beaten path, but go off!!!

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

this isn’t the beaten path, but go off!!!

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

the only thing that can stop a bad guy with a vuvuzela is a good guy with a vuvuzela

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

almost forgot how great this song is

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

dash rendar, save me; kit fisto, save me!!!

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

if you or a loved one were exposed to christian ska, you may be entitled to compensation

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

had a stress dream that i was on a game show where i had to explain the plot of a season of entourage to my mother while patton oswalt frowned at me

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

i was nagged into accepting a lifetime achievement award and becoming a beacon of greatness, they annoyed me into it

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

sometimes, all you know is pain. the pain of lost loves, the pain of dead friends, the pain of a reflection you can’t recognize — but this week only, feel no pain in your wallet come dinner time, thanks to dominos limited time offer of a large 2-topping pizza for only $6.99!!!

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

once again if you’d like one of these, they are $30, shipping included in that price — dm me with your size if interested!!! very low amount left and i don’t plan on taking many to new york for my show. only ships domestically

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

NYC people: i said i’d be back and i meant it! i had so much fun last time that i couldn’t think of a better way to celebrate my birthday than by performing on june 25th at hart bar with this killer lineup. you won’t want to miss this. see you so soon, ILY www.tixtree.com/e/crimesidid...

submitted 86 days ago • 6 comments

i’ve thought a lot about it, and it really is so easy — i’d be pretty happy if i just suddenly legally gained a hundred million dollars. and, hell — i’d settle for half!!!

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

jeb!

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

they’re placing my corrupt heart on the scales!!!

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

if your wife sends you a letter asking you to meet her in silent hill that’s not your wife bro that’s a projection of your guilt and unresolved grief and agony

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

seeing the two worst manbabies on earth are actually feuding:

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

they whooped my ass at fraggle rock

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

i’m speeding in a dune buggy in the dark

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

a leather jacket, a muppet sidekick named quarf, a set of prescription sunglasses, a cigarette i never smoke, and herbs from a garden that only grows from my ample tears — i’m ready to hang out outside of the dilapidated macy’s tonight

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

the first time the phrase “adult coloring book” was used to describe something other than porn was the moment the clock ran out

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

saying “love, trust, faith in those around you” on family feud after being asked to name things you shouldn’t believe in anymore and watching steve harvey levitate as the numbers extend the board

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

seeing that two friends hung out without me and visualizing my corpse covered in blood on the shore

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

seeing other people’s happiness makes me sad. seeing other people’s unhappiness makes me sad. really, seeing people experiencing anything just bums me out. and there’s a place for me in this realm

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

i do look forward greatly to having my bad thoughts vacuumed out by advanced alien technologies, sure

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

truly little as depressing and annoying as hearing about people’s relationships

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

the crag that emanates pure evil is glowing a beautiful red!!!

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment

they’re studying film strips of footage taken inside my dreams, holding it up to purple light in a backroom at the mall

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

democrats considering bold “please don’t vote for us” campaign message in reverse-psychology ploy

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments