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cupcake.rip
she/her/ours Leipzig, DE queer community leader, polyam slut, electronic musician, and infosec girl. I do speaking/writing on security/dev/queer stuff. Language student by day, gay anticapitalist burner by night. github.com/cvolny
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Grave's Disease. Take medication and it should be manageable. If not there's a nuclear option (ha).

PS this is how I clocked my AMD X2 4400 system to 250x10 in 2006. So the math totally checks out 💁‍♀️

Anxiety, but drop the multiplier 10% and increase the bus speed by 20%.

Damn I do be eating lately tho (I’m hungry all the time, thanks OC body)

“amid a growing recognition that women’s pain should be treated”

You know, I can be mad at my doctor for not notifying me of my undetectable TSH/clear diagnostic that I have hyperthyroidism for months… But the real ball dropped is when I ignored my Apple Watch detecting my resting HR went up drastically after March. That doesn’t just go up suddenly w/o reason 💁‍♀️

This is just true

Breath of Fire 3 Amazing soundtrack, My favorite fishing mini-game, Momo is basically Entrapta, You fight god, Has even be described as a trans allegory. You can steal items and learn moves from mobs.

I’ve intermittently smelled pussy all day. I just realized it’s my hair. I have it in my hair. Fantastic except for everyone else

Definitely lost my sea legs (cum a bazillion times and try to walk to my bus stop after)

Never touched the bag 💁‍♀️

omw to a hookup date. Packed a duffle bag of toys, strap, rope, and gloves/condoms. I certainly won’t need everything, but I definitely won’t regret forgetting something now 💁‍♀️

😅😅😅😅

Likely hyperthyroidism. Dad had it too (tho he kept his balls lol) A doctor tested my thyroid levels and had the anomalous results March 21st. My hair had been thinning most of that time since 😭😭😭😭 It would have been nice to know that such an obvious diagnostic value was available the whole time.

Seeking advice for English language resources I can do online to help with cptsd. I’m struggling to find an English-speaking trauma therapist in Leipzig, similarly an appropriate yoga studio, etc. Online will have to do for now.

Divorce, burnout, losing job, losing therapy, moving to another country, illness, surgery, remarrying, more illness… I wonder why I’m so emotionally charged / distressed this last year 🤷‍♀️

So funny story, my hair is falling out 💀 I researched if any of my ailments a few months ago can cause/contribute to what appears to be temporary hair loss (I have new growth, but the old growth is falling off faster than normal) Apparently all them cause it 😭 To the doctors office this week!

Homeownership, but only the stressful parts 💀

Pro-tip: double check the villain isn’t a “man in dress” trope before inviting your trans friends to movie night. 0 out of 5 stars 😭

Damn, I know I like someone when I type-type-delete-type-type-delete a lot 😅😅😅

(lays on couch) I think it started with my mother when…

It’s wild how much my body and brain just can’t trust loved ones promising to work on hard stuff with me. And when I finally acknowledge, yes this person is trustworthy and I can relax and trust, I’m flooded with this deep sadness about all the times that didn’t happen with others. Healing is hard

Final amount lost in divorce was 123,000. I’m away from her forever. I’m safe where I need to be. Kept a house for my loves to live in, even when I moved away. Honestly worth it. It was nice having a retirement account while it lasted but yikes that’s wiped out from this and moving💀

My mental health is pretty low rn, and from what? Fuck if I know. I'm living my fairytale dream, so why do I feel like shit all of the time? I think I need to go back on antidepressants. It was a fun experiment without, but my window of tolerance is so narrow now I'm emotion/somatically fried.

Have a 😻 pic

Birth certificate correction sent off thanks to some amazing loving people back home!! I could faint I’m so relieved. This was the last piece of paperwork to get updated after transition- Unless you count a mortgage and deed, which is so hard to change so that’s out of scope 💁‍♀️

Pope: much of transgender medicine is against god's wishes. Us: death before detransition Pope: *dies* I'm satisified.

> Give me a meme in three panels: frame 1 is sinead o'connor tearing a picture of the pope with the caption "down with the pope", frame 2 is Obama pointing, smiling saying "we can do that", frame 3 is a headline about the pope dying being liberals fault. ChatGPT: This interaction has been reported.

So this whole coming back from the brink of death thing has really put a limit on my beat saber abilities. Which sucks, I’m easily the best beat saber player most people meet and now I’m just tired and wimpy 😭

Mom is texting me really sweet and loving stuff about how good it is to be so close and supported. It’s beautiful to be such close friends now, but I mourn the decades it took to get here. I wish I just got to be myself, be her daughter from the start.

Kinda blows my mind how much my body has changed just in the last 6mo. I’m in year 4. I’m 37. I didn’t expect changes to still be happening so quickly.

I miss my snuggly Keough cat. I feel her here still even though she’s gone, but I miss holding and kissing her, I miss feeling her warmth against me when I need grounding, I miss her physically being here and the memory isn’t enough. Today was a day I really needed her.

Showing me a jewelry customizer website was a bad financial decision. That said my gift game has gotten WAY better now.