cupcake.rip
she/her/ours
Leipzig, DE
queer community leader, polyam slut, electronic musician, and infosec girl.
I do speaking/writing on security/dev/queer stuff.
Language student by day,
gay anticapitalist burner by night.
github.com/cvolny
2,259 posts
1,239 followers
1,151 following
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Okay admittedly before that notification I was mostly on pain killers post-surgery… so I do remember thinking “yeah of course I’m on less opiates now”
😅
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How are you liking it?
I’m either gonna steam remote play from my partner’s pc or emulate windows to play it (I don’t think it’ll “just work” on my Mac)
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The hot sauce was pretty mid, but the origin story on the bottle was funny.
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Danke 🙏
If I lose my hair it just means I get to have more tattoo canvas, right? 😅
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I’m so fucked up about this 😢😭
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Hard to feel like progress in affirmation when pussy surgery is likely the cause of it.
Big 2 steps forward, one step back energy there.
But I’ll be okay.
I can see the new hairs are growing fine,
It’s just the old stuff from the last few years,
And what’s shedding old stuff to me at this point 💁♀️
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It’s hard to experience and it’s happening both so slowly and so quickly at the same time.
There’s a lot of big feelings I have tied to my hair as a mode of displaying/signaling femininity.
I love being the pink haired girl, but I’m watching my old growth shed faster than ever.
Le sigh.
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Low potassium
Surgical stress
Anesthesia
Stopping pioglitozone
Low iron absorption
Kidney disease/infection
…
Basically everything I experienced in Q1 causes my hair to fall out 2-4 months after.
I might get a pixie cut if this continues like this because wearing it up/ponytail isn’t my fav.
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This week,we found out my insurance company more than doubled the policy cost between last and this year 😭
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I’m sitting there pissed off wondering “why am I upset, this is what you asked for”
and it’s because I’m expecting this to be smoke not action, even though everything E has done since we met is dedicated and trustworthy.
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Emma described this joke as a fever dream tier.
That's fair, it's a bunch of obscure references rolled into one. Wrong pope too. Also I think Emma was -2 yo when that protest happened.
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It’s amazing how I get to show up now,
Get to feel so much less angry,
Distraught,
Numb,
Everything except facing my truth,
But now… I get to just be loving, boundaried, insightful, funny -self.
And now I get to be my mom’s cheerleader as she gets spinal surgery. That’s dope- I love the chance.
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I know what happened to my peers and their parents, I was terrified of the rejection that could have been.
And I’m grateful mine showed up and resolved to love their daughter instead of mourning their lost son.
They had other sons, both of them kinda assholes- but their daughter is a sweetheart 💕
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Eventually I couldn’t anymore. I came out but hid from my parents. I ghosted.
Then I reached back out.
This didn’t happen overnight,
it was hard to communicate everything,
hard to hold boundaries and set high stakes,
But she listened and chose accepting me over losing me.
It was scary and hard
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As a kid, my parents tried so hard to get me to act like a boy- less soft, stronger- less vulnerable a target for my brothers’ cruelty.
I hated them for it, I was so angry at them, at everyone.
Why couldn’t I just be myself? Leave me alone,
stop them from bullying me,
it’s not my fault,
Help ME.
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(gestures vaguely at everything)