cyborking.bsky.social
jojo/libra | 29 | ΘΔ&∞ | 🧡 @hemipepsis.bsky.social | polyamorous gay-ace boything | central florida bogbeast | sometimes furry artist | i say words recreationally | donate to my transition fund here: https://gofund.me/ce57e95a
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you do not know sensory hell until you have been outside post-rain in florida and felt the literal steam on the asphalt rising to greet you and stick to you.
i must tolerate it. for the wildlife.
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we rarely have dates bc of the cost of living but we set aside money as soon as the ff7 mtg set was announced bc it's so close to his birthday and we literally havent gotten him cards in the past decade
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i was at a mtg tournament and i was like haha let me tell bsky--VORGINER????
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i feel like there needs to be different levels of scientific research offered bc this genuinely sounds like some sort of undergrad assignment and not something someone with multiple degrees would even dignify if they had the choice.
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hmm, flea you have dedicated your life to or a crab. tough choice.
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they are basically like if beans were spaghettios
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flatworms can't fuck it's just a tom and jerry skit. one of them is gonna bring out the mallet and the other has dynamite.
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that's why i got a credit card from my store. i got mine on an 18-month-deferred-interest plan so if i pay $75 a month i won't owe anything at the end of the promo period.
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though i do feel bad bc it is great to know if i ever let the mask slip i will be talked down about :) i love knowing my good standing is conditional :)
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im high masking and i can smell low masking undiagnosed 50 year old men like a drug dog
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if i did not have to support myself financially i could see myself volunteering albeit i would probably only be doing grunt work. i've been told i have the same comforting presence as an axolotl and with a vacant but pleasant resting facial expression to match
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dev has an issue where he will trigger himself and not realize it and it will take me walking him back through several hours of the day to find out the "aha!" moment where he brought up a topic that ended up derailing the rest of the day without realizing
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what helps me is to focus on physical sensations first and physiological symptoms. i might not recognize anxiety but i will recognize "heart rate increase" and walk myself backwards through conversation topics with dev for his alexithymia
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look into alexithymia bc it helped me understand my feelings way better in relation to other people
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central florida smells like hot tarmac and humidity :) my husband says if you've ever been to mexico city or a similar climate, that's what central florida smells like.
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i hate this job so much i feel dumber every day
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i remember the uncanny valley feeling i had about a year ago when i stumbled across a furry's art that was weirdly familiar despite not knowing the artist. i realized that THEY were the artist most models trained their content with. it was so heartbreaking to see they'd been scraped so thoroughly
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i'm making myself garlic bread and then i will try to go back to sleep . sigh
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it's not consistent either, and i cannot figure out what triggers it. the fucking ai chatbot is no use either
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it gives me a heart attack every time like PLEASE do not give a random stranger my deadname for paying money
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it has been confirmed by coworkers that he is coming by our place of work to deal custom and 3d printed firearms. i only know this bc some bought them off him as recently as this week.
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i am back to having panic attacks at work and i havent done that since i had tumors on my thyroid literally communicating to my brain "you Want to have a panic attack so bad ooo you wanna have a panic attacm"
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i will literally put my own safety at risk for duck's happiness. idk if anyone would be happy with me going to jail but i will become viral fucking reddit post that gets shared on podcasts for her
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this year has been hard enough but after learning about nex benedict last year, tk hill in georgia, and sam nordquist, it just reminds me that i have a fucking maniac who thinks i'm a freak of nature and he said he'd kill trans people in a bunch of jokes
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i'm honestly scared of people seeing me and erik as partners because the idea of someone hurting him makes my blood run cold. small blessing that we're rarely out and about together
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honestly you could start saving up and once you find an escape route, just ship it direct to that address on a date you'll be moved in. that way you don't have to bother paying a guy to haul it across town/the country/the globe
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i used to think that was crazy behavior but i caught myself doing it before. sometimes you just have to scald so you can see some beech or find a really fat bug in a tree
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i'm so glad that y'all got to celebrate a birthday safely and out of that hellhole. you've had such a crazy couple of years and it's so nice to know you got to relax a little
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like if she truly wants to know, that is a question she can ask azalea because clearly it's upsetting to you. you should not have to explain or reiterate shit to her and if she asks repeatedly then have her write it down and tell her point blank "if you ask me that again i will leave the room"
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she owes you an exponential amount of money. "why?" another $10. "i just don't see why you won't tell me" $20 more.
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if they do it, you tell them. if they say "no, that's ridiculous, why would i do that" you can say "that's how i feel when you ask me your questions"