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davinwood.bsky.social
Just trying to be a good guy davinwood.com
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If I was the guy who named 'Nickelback' I would have dumped the dumb story they used about the name, & told the truth: It was originally 'Nippleback', & it was about Ephraim Barlow's son Jimmy, a kid in their town who had a 3rd nipple on his back. But. That. Jimmy. Barlow. Could. Chase. Cars . . .

submitted 20 hours ago • 0 comments

Of all the invasive species of nasty, worthless, inextirpable shrubs in the south, Privet has to be the shittiest. Even its name is a redneck asshole. "Rodney Privet saw you leavin' Dairy Queen with Rhonda Turpin, said he's out ta whoop yo ass . . ."

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Went through a box of my old uniforms from USMC days, and found my 'inspection-ready' utilities. In the still well-starched breast pocket of the blouse was a folded letter written to a girl. I did not write this letter. I don't recognize the names, and have no idea why it's in there, of all places.😕

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

Target’s new pride catalog has been expanded to include straight guys who went to art school

submitted 5 days ago • 1 comment

There's a certain age where if you step on a coffee bean with your bare feet, just get used to it, man. It's gonna be there forever, whether it's there or not.

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

Can't wait to see Jake Tapper go on Rogan to sort this all out.

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

Shepard Fairey's 'Andre The Giant Has A Posse' stickers everywhere, but it's: 'Chat GPT Has A Captcha'. Srsly. Think about it.

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

My only TACO story: Silent Movie Theatre, 2004. Premiere of Tom Goes To The Mayor. Bob Odenkirk takes the stage, grabs the old-fashioned mic, says "Hey, I remember what this is from . . . Taco!" *crickets* a beat... Me (and ONLY me): "AhhHahaa!!!" Bob: "Y'know . . . 'Puttin' On The Ritz' . . ."

submitted 8 days ago • 2 comments

When you look around the table, and can't decide who the sucker is, it's you. It's you being a real prick, Jeremy. Do you know—hang on honey—do you know how hard Carol worked on her day off to make this roast—honey please, I AM handling—y'know what? Fine! [slams fork onto plate and glares] Get. Out!

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

Elon's gonna take a hard swing left after getting his face rubbed in it isn't he? Bet he's picturing himself going on Maron, 'getting real', talking about building a Comedy Store on Mars . . .

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

I have so many questions about the real life of the very real person and not a bot 'michaellandonfan'. Does michaellandonfan also like hot food? He does? That must be a wonderful feeling.

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

Is there really no one out here talking about how Facebook and Instagram both ruin searches by literally commandeering the 'back' button, shutting it off, leaving you stuck in Metaworld?

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

Not sure why, but this little inclusion to the story is cracking me up. Editor: "Don't forget to mention the bathrobe . . ."

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

sitting down in a two-legged chair with human teeth that ikea put into my house without asking

submitted 12 days ago • 3 comments

AKA 'tactics'.

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

When they say don't shake your Lava Lamp while it's warm, I'm here to tell you they really, really mean it.

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

I think it'll always be hilarious to me that in 1966, John Lennon wrote a diss track about Peter Fonda without even really knowing who he was.

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

Please follow Douglas if you don't. Douglas contains funny.

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

"Does not work." Although categorized as a 'toy', the item is incompatible with play of any kind.

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

German is the "Kristin Wiig's Penelope" of languages. "Oh yeah, we did that...so many times...we did it so many times we have just one word for it...y'know...for that whole story you just told that took so long . . ."

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments