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deeks549.bsky.social
Professional Procrastinating Introvert Recovering addict New Posts https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:nt2ee4i355er6jdyv3wpomef/feed/aaaaq5yncb67a Best Posts https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:nt2ee4i355er6jdyv3wpomef/feed/aaagy2zlggk6i
17,442 posts 12,609 followers 716 following
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Posts 29 Comments 21

It sucks being the same age as old people

submitted 7 hours ago • 16 comments

unfortunately, my toxic trait is being extremely correct but in the worst possible tone

submitted 2 days ago • 6 comments

You ever have a good thing going then remember you’re a pos and burn it all to the ground or is that just me?

submitted 2 days ago • 6 comments

First date idea: rob a bank. We either get rich or finally feel something

submitted 2 days ago • 6 comments

I’m not trying to make things weird, but could you shut the fuck up

submitted 1 day ago • 4 comments

I can’t heal your darkness but I can be a light when you need it

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

Give me 2 Red Bulls and a death, to go, please

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Sure, why not. I can be your alibi.

submitted 2 days ago • 7 comments

Let's runaway together but live in separate towns.

submitted 2 days ago • 4 comments

I have two moods before or after coffee. I suggest after coffee.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Before someone has a conversation with me. I like to let out a warning sigh.

submitted 1 day ago • 6 comments

Never ask a duck for directions.

submitted 1 day ago • 14 comments

I bet being tucked under a tall woman’s arm and carried around feels so safe

submitted 1 day ago • 10 comments

I know origami and I ain’t afraid to fold you into a swan.

submitted 1 day ago • 6 comments

Slept for ten hours straight last night so I’m basically a sleep Jedi now. Master level.

submitted 1 day ago • 14 comments

Oh ok, praying mantis eat the male after sex but I’m crazy for burning I love you in your yard for not responding to my text.

submitted 1 day ago • 9 comments

I love it when a trailer describes a movie as "feel good" or "life-affirming" because it lets me know right away that I don't need to watch that movie.

submitted 1 day ago • 4 comments

you think naps are stupid? BLOCKED!!!

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

When I was a kid, there was a little old lady that sat on her porch & talked trash to most of the people passing by. That is pretty much my life goal.

submitted 1 day ago • 20 comments

Imagine being able to say “Yeah, Los been liking my posts before he was famous”.

submitted 1 day ago • 6 comments

they should invent an app that bundles HBO & Cinemax and call that shit HBO Max

submitted 4 days ago • 1 comment

is he you know *mimes being a shitposter*

submitted 2 days ago • 4 comments

I'm just glad our private parts don't get calluses.

submitted 1 day ago • 9 comments

Keep opening this app to say something, then I read for a minute and think, "Well, I believe they've said it all," then I close the app. You can do this too!

submitted 1 day ago • 21 comments

it’s weird that when women feel lonely they read or something and when men get lonely they mass murder

submitted 1 day ago • 23 comments

Uploading my content into the cloud (spraying blood from a neck wound into the fog)

submitted 30 days ago • 3 comments

Our love, it's like magic. It's not fucking real

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

Wish you were here, xoxo

submitted 1 day ago • 4 comments

men are constantly fighting each other over me and my inability to close the windows during a thunderstorm

submitted 313 days ago • 5 comments