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dopeshow.bsky.social
Cigarette butt collector, esquire. Legal Advice: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:7kbe2ppvlcrszkduecbj4syj/feed/aaai5iu6grewk
1,610 posts 1,147 followers 773 following
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Posts 43 Comments 7

Did you know that when bsky publishes our posts, they go straight into a sausage skin?

submitted 8 hours ago • 5 comments

We got it. You have boobs.

submitted 6 hours ago • 6 comments

More like "funnilingus" Amirite???

submitted 4 hours ago • 8 comments

[abruptly stops beatboxing] I do.

submitted 12 hours ago • 4 comments

Ok we can make out but only after I eat my horseradish.

submitted 3 hours ago • 7 comments

← professional feather ruffler

submitted 6 hours ago • 2 comments

I'm not wearing pants and I'm eating a salad that would calorically rival a Big Mac. GET ON MY LEVEL

submitted 6 hours ago • 1 comment

Ok seriously, which mystery led you into an insane deepdive?

submitted 7 hours ago • 3 comments

asking the librarian if they have any books in dark mode

submitted 7 hours ago • 68 comments

oh yeah? well can ai do THIS?! (have anxiety)

submitted 8 hours ago • 5 comments

I know origami and I ain’t afraid to fold you into a swan.

submitted 7 hours ago • 5 comments

She was the Snapchat-filtered undergoblin of shitposters

submitted 6 days ago • 2 comments

Congratulations, you've flirted with each other enough I'm muting you both. Hope you enjoy never fucking.

submitted 15 hours ago • 0 comments

What I like about baseball is it's played in the past.

submitted 15 hours ago • 2 comments

I've finally reached the Tilley Hat level of Dad

submitted 14 hours ago • 1 comment

“stop spamming the chat” —me to the voices in my head

submitted 15 hours ago • 0 comments

12:49 Chicken nugget and Doritos sandwich time.

submitted 22 hours ago • 1 comment

*stye* eye

submitted 15 hours ago • 2 comments

If you love something, I’m sorry. That’s the first step to unimaginable emotional destruction

submitted 15 hours ago • 2 comments

I was cloud gazing, but I had to come inside because I kept getting turned on.

submitted 23 hours ago • 3 comments

Sneezing in a minor key to create a sense of mystery

submitted 15 hours ago • 12 comments

Just screamed into a jar. It’s for later

submitted 1 day ago • 3 comments

If I don't think of a good skeet soon they're gonna pull my funding

submitted 17 hours ago • 6 comments

Whenever a thin friend says they’re so fat I agree with them and then look for a new friend

submitted 16 hours ago • 4 comments

Felt cute. Forgot to take picture. Imagine me being cute. Maybe delete mental image later.

submitted 20 hours ago • 2 comments

on my knees waiting for the skeet to come

submitted 17 hours ago • 10 comments

letting the chips fall where they may but it’s just me eating chips in bed again

submitted 2 days ago • 3 comments

The barrier to most things in life is having to put on pants.

submitted 1 day ago • 7 comments

In Bluesky Saturday, nobody can hear you skeet

submitted 17 hours ago • 1 comment

THEM: do you want to play the piano or percussion INVENTOR OF XYLOPHONE: yes

submitted 1 day ago • 4 comments

Everyone has an Uncle Randy is PROOF WE ARE LIVING IN A SIMULATION!!

submitted 1 day ago • 3 comments

I have become very large and difficult to look at, not unlike the sun.

submitted 2 days ago • 7 comments

Just once I want a man who touches my cervix emotionally.

submitted 2 days ago • 13 comments

I don’t want anyone to die. I want them to go to prison and die

submitted 2 days ago • 11 comments

For my birthday I've decided to give everyone the day off. Go ahead and tell your boss Lizzy says it's ok.

submitted 1 day ago • 82 comments

and so i escaped into the woods, never to be seen again

submitted 1 day ago • 4 comments

making the fly on my right hand and the spider on my left kiss

submitted 1 day ago • 4 comments

him: nerd shit me: *taps translate

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

Yeah I’ll say it. This painting is horny and I want someone to pour okra down my pants.

submitted 1 day ago • 15 comments

I don’t have “one that got away,” because I am the one that got away

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

I’m not messy, I’m emotionally scattered across multiple timelines.

submitted 12 days ago • 1 comment

I'm doing my best, which unfortunately varies wildly by the hour.

submitted 9 days ago • 2 comments

You can put your hard salami in my sub roll if you wanna

submitted 1 day ago • 5 comments