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dougexeter.bsky.social
its doug exeter
474 posts 5,151 followers 163 following
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right about now the catturd army check it out now the catturd army right about now the catturd army check it out now the catturd army

RIP Noam Chomsky. He taught me it was OK to falsely report people’s deaths

im at the dentist and the radio is playing let her go by passenger and man is this a song that is meant to be played at the dentists office

the morale will decrease until morale improves

the dallas stars have died of diphtheria

i would walk five hundred miles and i would walk five hundred more just to be the man who walked a thousand miles and said “my feet are sore”

im drunk on my own sense of beer

oh. i thought you said the NFL Columbine. not interested

today im mad at star wars for being woke. but i dont know whether to call it woke wars or star woke

as a guy in the mafia, one of the things i hate to learn is that this guys wearin a wire

ME: hey coach! do you think you should stop giving up third period goals? KRIS KNOBLAUCH: no

but jim irsay seemed so healthy

but, as fate would have it, it HAD been for cotton eye joe

we need a right wing for the left

men would literally rather lose game seven 6-1 than go to therapy

take solace leafs fans. last year the canucks lost in game seven of round two. it was painful in the moment but it was a step in the ladder to greater thi- *checks notes* oh. oh. im so sorry

elon musk has contracted a fatal case of bovine spongiform encephalitis and has had to be destroyed

actually its good to trail 6-0 in a pivotal game five

do you even contain multitudes bro

i have a wonderful idea for a film. ok here it is: the main characters are spies. moreover (and heres the thing), they are also kids

see? it turns out that there are some really good and important reasons why they dont build the entire airplane out of the same stuff they build the black box with. and you thought i was stupid for asking. if you dont ask you dont learn

*beastie boys* he loves michael jordan and papal BULLS vow of celibacy so he dont touch GIRLS fills the faithful with joy and HOPE hes coming from chicago to be the POPE

fake plastic trees

cardi b is short for cardinals ballots

and i found it kinda funny and i found it kinda sad the best sitcom of the nineties was the one called major dad

one thing is sure in these uncertain times: benghazi aint going away

dual wielding lunch

lin manuel miranda is going to rhyme bengie molina with kenji johjima and i for one will stand up and applaud

i love taking time out of my busy day to engage with the democratic process by voting for a candidate who will certainly lose

PLAYOFF CONNOR HELLEBUYCK: who is man, that he should dare to crush the dreams of another

as a surgeon, and a mother, one of my greatest joys is not operating on my children

im hearing reports that the pope is in ill health

congratulations on your ten year warranty against manufacturers defects. please be advised that by definition any problem that happens after one year is normal wear and tear

surely this request to put phones in silent mode at a funeral doesnt apply to me

*katy perry voice* baby urine firework

elon musk has been declared dead on arrival after passing out and hitting his head on concrete following the removal of a temporary tattoo

dont tariff me bro. does anyone remember that

did you see it. my owner had the tennis ball in his hand. he wound up really hard so i went running! really far!! but he didnt throw it….☹️ wait hes winding up again!!!

OVECHKIN: i dedicate this goal, and all my goals, to the brave freedom fighters of al qaeda

EUROPEAN NERD: april the fifth be with you