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fulkery.bsky.social
Some form of grubby ox hermit, but like, with a salary and kids. I can't deal with all my own bullshit you won't like how badly I handle yours. Condensed: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:7x67le6rxiitd4xv4ezbzlfc/feed/aaabt4b7v4yr2
13,627 posts 9,176 followers 1,752 following
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Posts 46 Comments 2

The masculine urge to pay out all my 401k and buy a boat, change my address to a tax haven in the Caribbean, and transport illegal things for expenses until the end.

submitted 11 hours ago • 3 comments

Oh if I’m a Jedi I’m supposed to let go of things? I’ll let go. Of my enemies. With a fuckin’ proton warhead.

submitted 12 hours ago • 0 comments

[offers you an ice cold shrimp cocktail for your sunburn]

submitted 18 hours ago • 10 comments

Arranging for my tombstone to provide suggestions of similar humans you might like

submitted 8 days ago • 6 comments

Please take everything I post seriously.

submitted 18 hours ago • 1 comment

neighbors are having their regular tuesday meeting to discuss exactly how much I lowered their property values this week

submitted 16 hours ago • 6 comments

People keep getting mad when I pronounce the parentheses.

submitted 17 hours ago • 0 comments

Charging your electric bike in your truck before you ride some trails in a somewhat hilly set of pastures is not quite as rugged as you hoped, solar power generator company.

submitted 17 hours ago • 0 comments

If you want proof that Melon Husk is lucky and not brilliant, look no further than him completely not understanding that AI is just prevailing opinion.

submitted 21 hours ago • 0 comments

Having to worry about having healthcare and basic living expenses is not a competitive environment, people compete best when they are not afraid. Fear is best for discouraging people from taking risks and encouraging compliance to the establishment.

submitted 21 hours ago • 0 comments

If you look at the percentage of people that are billionaires who didn’t inherit millions, you will see that there is no point in emulating them, following them, or listening to their advice. It’s less than 1% even with the inherited wealth in the US.

submitted 21 hours ago • 0 comments

Another way of saying it would be "quantified favoritism."

submitted 22 hours ago • 0 comments

Ohh a "meritocracy," where the dominant ethnic culture decides whatever they do has merit.

submitted 23 hours ago • 0 comments

I suddenly have more Bluesky followers than xfwitter followers. Interesting, but it’s still just like 12 actual people on each platform.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Let me in your food storage facility, I have done a taxes.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Hello there fellow humans, wanna go do some opposable thumb bipedal warm-blooded stuff? Let’s be careful not to lose any of our one set of adult teeth, amirite? Ha ha. Yeah.

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

That is a fine patina you have there. Skin. I meant skin. I am not a robot.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Just gonna start responding to everything with “really? Extraño” until people stop saying things to me.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

i have grown accustomed to my compounds and elixirs

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

The first three tacos were for my stomach, the fourth my soul.

submitted 2 days ago • 2 comments

'light of Aurora' (2021) Anastasia Trusova

submitted 1 day ago • 4 comments

Look! It’s Enrico Palazzo!

submitted 1 day ago • 3 comments

I'm smart if you don't count my taste in men.

submitted 572 days ago • 7 comments

Oh to be your touchscreen and feel your OW okay why the fuck is the space bar right there?

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

centipede human wears pants with 100 legs and goes to work from 9-5

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

bratwurst, try a little self-confidence. how about "princessbest"

submitted 1 day ago • 5 comments

Pretty hard to avoid inflation when existence itself seems to have no value. Oh a $40 pencil? Yeah sure I guess. I’ll take the payment plan.

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

proving how old i am by letting you count my penis rings

submitted 1 day ago • 12 comments

If you chew through five mouth guards they will put your picture on the wall at the dentist

submitted 1 day ago • 42 comments

running around the wild west complaining I'm the rowdiest cowboy but hey why didn't anyone teach me to ride a horse

submitted 6 days ago • 7 comments

I dreamt we fought war with temperature, like you hate being cold? Give up and we will give you a warm blanket and some fuzzy socks

submitted 6 days ago • 12 comments

my wife left a bowl of fruit on the kitchen counter for too long and now we have carpenter aunts

submitted 1 day ago • 11 comments

My crush pushed me in the pool back in 7th grade and I’ve been chasing that high ever since

submitted 1 day ago • 3 comments

Mosquito bit my knuckle out of all my more delicious areas? real clown shit, bro

submitted 1 day ago • 4 comments

Depressed and eating croutons in bed. I call it existential bread.

submitted 1 day ago • 21 comments

wasps don't sting me, and I don't sting them either

submitted 2 days ago • 13 comments

If you were in a hypothetical situation, what would you do?

submitted 1 day ago • 167 comments

So what if I eat a whole pie? Mind your damn business

submitted 1 day ago • 5 comments

What, do buttercups normally suck things in some other direction?

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

This type of heat is only acceptable if I have ocean waves splashing all over my rack. Which I do not.

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

I’ve been using Excel on a Mac, that’s what’s driving all this rage

submitted 1 day ago • 5 comments

HOT SINGLES IN YOUR AREA WANT TO KNOW IF YOU’RE REALLY GOING TO WEAR THAT

submitted 178 days ago • 18 comments

The Hamburglar: (holding an exploded cheeseburger, pink anti-theft dye all over his face and shoulders) wtf

submitted 2 days ago • 2 comments

Top tip: never let the waiter get away with serving corked wine or stale bread, no matter how many times they argue that “I’m just a priest” or insist “you’re ruining the Communion service again!”

submitted 2 days ago • 3 comments

magician’s assistant relaxes after the show

submitted 1 day ago • 23 comments

I feel like we could have all saved ourselves a lot of grief if we’d just let those dudes wear their fedoras in peace.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments