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grommit56.bsky.social
Marriage, my dogs, golf, work, Disney parks, general stupidity. Blue is much more soothing than red. For mediocrity, press the link below bsky.app/profile/did:plc:cwzjygusjn5xjsu47dtcp2tl/feed/aaacbkeptqwsw
1,309 posts 2,491 followers 1,158 following
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Posts 44 Comments 5

Growing up in the 70s, the Dodgers were the dreaded enemies of my beloved Big Red Machine. Today I couldn't be more fond of that shade of blue.

submitted 9 hours ago • 1 comment

Wherefore art thou, Charlie Brown.

submitted 9 hours ago • 0 comments

People sicken me, but I’ve built up quite the tolerance.

submitted 9 hours ago • 0 comments

So let me get this straight, they’re going to: 1. Get rid of red food dye for safety 2. Bomb us

submitted 12 hours ago • 6 comments

Patience is a virtue, so is shutting the fuck up.

submitted 12 hours ago • 1 comment

Remember depending on people? That was stupid of us.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Doctor: Your blood pressure’s a bit high. Anything going on in your world causing you more stress? Me: (looks deadpan into camera)

submitted 12 hours ago • 2 comments

I don’t meditate, but one time I didn’t check my phone for 10 minutes.

submitted 12 hours ago • 7 comments

a silly shade of purple is lavenderp

submitted 12 hours ago • 10 comments

Illuminati is Latin for tin foil.

submitted 16 hours ago • 5 comments

farting is protected speech

submitted 12 hours ago • 16 comments

first person on the plane get’s to fly it

submitted 122 days ago • 5 comments

Of course I'm nice. I could only fill a mid-sized cemetery with the people who are dead to me.

submitted 21 hours ago • 0 comments

I got kicked out of planet fitness for making fart sounds when people bend over.

submitted 15 hours ago • 5 comments

collateral hammage, is this anything?

submitted 4 days ago • 5 comments

I no longer wish to participate in this (gestures everywhere)

submitted 2 days ago • 7 comments

Wanna play a game? I'll hide and you go fuck yourself.

submitted 5 days ago • 12 comments

My theory is that hair plugs can become sentient, and that's what's really running the US these days.

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

Long story short, never eat chocolate while changing a diaper.

submitted 15 hours ago • 3 comments

Always be kind, you never know who might have air conditioning.

submitted 15 hours ago • 10 comments

It was kinda nice

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

*Kicks last night's underwear out of pants leg* Hi, I'm here for my job interview.

submitted 1 day ago • 18 comments

THEM: your heart's in the right place ME: where the hell else would it be

submitted 2 days ago • 9 comments

Once I make 3 friends, it’s over for the rest of you average people

submitted 48 days ago • 3 comments

FACT: penguins 𝙘𝙖𝙣 fly, but always get frisked by airport security.

submitted 20 hours ago • 2 comments

Never thought I would find myself looking forward to paying someone to stick a needle into my spine but never say never I guess.

submitted 18 hours ago • 0 comments

My fridge has seen more of me at 3AM than most humans ever will.

submitted 1 day ago • 4 comments

I do all my best work in the morning. (It’s very late at night in case you’re wondering).

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

Genuinely considering having cake for dinner tonight.

submitted 1 day ago • 7 comments

running around the wild west complaining I'm the rowdiest cowboy but hey why didn't anyone teach me to ride a horse

submitted 1 day ago • 6 comments

you can’t hurt me, you’re not a spicy ramen noodle i sucked up my nose

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

Him: What do you look for in a partner? Her: Serious ink. Him: slowly opens an overcoat, revealing 19th-century fountain pens in perfect condition Her: [whispering] I think I love you

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

I’m out being wholesome instead of hoesome, and honestly I’m a little disappointed in myself

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

My coworker just asked if I could ‘circle back on this later.’ Bro, I’m not circling back. I’m not even circling forward. I’m parking this conversation in a ditch and setting it on fire.

submitted 1 day ago • 23 comments

-I̶t̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶ ̶a̶l̶l̶ ̶m̶y̶ ̶f̶a̶u̶l̶t̶- -W̶e̶ ̶b̶o̶t̶h̶ ̶m̶a̶d̶e̶ ̶m̶i̶s̶t̶a̶k̶e̶s̶- -P̶r̶e̶t̶t̶y̶ ̶s̶u̶r̶e̶ ̶i̶t̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶n̶’̶t̶ ̶m̶e̶- Fuck you

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

Feeling butterflies in your stomach is not love, it’s called being hungry. Go make yourself a sandwich

submitted 157 days ago • 23 comments

I’m a facts are not optional kinda person

submitted 3 days ago • 2 comments

In my day you could trade a cyber handjob for 2 RTs and a favstar trophy

submitted 1 day ago • 7 comments

out of nowhere and without warning your favorite songs just start turning up on the classic rock station and it hits you like a ton of bricks, these fuckers finally got some good taste in music

submitted 17 days ago • 1 comment

Fig Newtons are a form of therapy. It's a process but I'll keep at it.

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

(robot eating an apple like a titanium sphere) at least dogs make it seem like tennis balls want to spend more time with you

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

I would call this the crunchwrap supreme court but that would be an insult to taco bell

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

The more I see clips of Shoresy on TikTok the more I think I have been missing out on an off the wall gem.

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

congrats to everyone involved in changing Twitter from a social media app to an antisocial media app

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments