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happyst.bsky.social
Chicago sports fan. Formerly of Uproxx. Nothing you read from me will have been worth your time. Also, for the first week I was here I thought “Bluesky” rhymed with “brewski.”
103 posts 194 followers 279 following
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Posts 26 Comments 24

I went to a wedding last weekend and cut in front of a bunch of people who were standing in line for sangria. When someone called me on it I was like, hey quit your whining. No wait that’s not it. Damn it I ruined the punchline.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Give me your Mt Rushmore of Mt Rushmores. For me it has to be greatest basketball players of all time, best standup comedians, best quarterbacks, and maybe American Presidents.

submitted 28 days ago • 0 comments

Juno and Bleeker’s baby is old enough to vote.

submitted 59 days ago • 0 comments

Michael Taylor of the White Sox is hitting .184. That was good for fourth best in the starting lineup today.

submitted 64 days ago • 0 comments

Patrick Reed’s tan line makes his head look like a bobber.

submitted 68 days ago • 0 comments

The only person who would ever get me to say this… May the Bears be f*cked for all eternity. RIP friend. I already miss you bud.

submitted 106 days ago • 0 comments

Every time I see Kyle Tucker come to bat for the Cubs this year…

submitted 117 days ago • 0 comments

Helen Hunt is about to cheat on her husband and give away the family car to her ex boyfriend on AMC right now. #Castaway

submitted 119 days ago • 1 comment

I hope Canada wins by 12.

submitted 120 days ago • 0 comments

Go “All Of Your Respective Squares”!!!

submitted 131 days ago • 0 comments

If any of us are still alive in 10 years, we should demand that all citizens over the age of 29 are required to have a tattoo on their neck showing who they voted for in 2024. You either get a KH or a DT or nothing.

submitted 136 days ago • 1 comment

Was going through a box of old pictures and came across one from my fifth birthday, March of 1984, holding a Hot Wheels city. A couple feet away sat the actual damn toy. I still have it!!!

submitted 140 days ago • 0 comments

I was chatting with a friend about a dream I had where I was having a sit down conversation with Chance the Rapper, and my phone autocorrected him to Chance the Stapler. I’ll be honest this is a cartoon I might watch, and thanks to AI I already have a prototype.

submitted 140 days ago • 2 comments

You can’t make the nazi salute and then say it wasn’t the nazi salute. Saying this wasn’t a nazi salute is insulting to anyone with eyes. You know who didn’t give a Nazi salute today? People who aren’t nazis. Elon Musk is a Nazi. There is no speculation here.

submitted 151 days ago • 0 comments

Picking just one quick clip to honor this man is a difficult task. But I’m satisfied with my choice. Rest well, Harry Doyle!!!

submitted 155 days ago • 0 comments

Sometimes I feel like every single person I work with was given a process flow chart on how to do their job that shows a Start circle with an arrow pointing to a box that says “Email Brian.”

submitted 156 days ago • 1 comment

People are always telling me I have a chip on my shoulder. I guess that’s what I get for eating Doritos while laying down on the couch.

submitted 163 days ago • 0 comments

You could explain the Bielema / Beamer situation to me 100 times and I’d still be confused.

submitted 170 days ago • 1 comment

Conversations at the Dairy Queen drive-thru… “Yeah hi I would like [the exact same thing I order every single time I come here which is probably like once a week].” “Okay your total comes to [a completely different amount from the last time, once again]. Please pull around.”

submitted 175 days ago • 0 comments

Happy "Get Dozens of Out-of-Office Replies After Sending A Group Email" Day to all who celebrate!!!

submitted 179 days ago • 0 comments

"I'm going to perform 98 percent of my job completely flawlessly. The other inexplicable 2 percent is going to drive you crazy." - Can Opener

submitted 186 days ago • 0 comments

Quick reminder that today is National "skip all your meetings and conference calls" day. If anyone questions where you were, feel free to refer them to me. Or remind them that it’s Dec. 16 and they shouldn’t have scheduled it in the first place.

submitted 186 days ago • 0 comments

You guys will never guess who I saw at Woodman’s just now… Everyone. Everyone was there. They said hello. And also fuck off. Wide range of greetings.

submitted 188 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 195 days ago • 0 comments

Sometimes when I go to Portillo's by myself, I'll still order two drinks. I don't need that young kid working the drive-thru thinking I'm a piece of shit who ordered all that food for one person.

submitted 198 days ago • 1 comment

"They are a valuable asset to the company and should be recognized as suck" is one of those unfortunate, yet awesome, typos.

submitted 199 days ago • 0 comments