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havishaf.bsky.social
I'm funny. I just don't show it because I'm humble. I'm also highly intelligent. And humble. Fuck genocide! 🇵🇸 La crème de la crème here 👉 https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:xiql7unalmesci5sgalfj6on/feed/aaae4ledalxss
3,471 posts 6,774 followers 1,903 following
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Posts 42 Comments 8

I bet I can make you nostalgic with just four words: Be back before dark.

submitted 2 hours ago • 4 comments

Why are they called fortune cookies when Deceptive Crunch Prophecies was right there?

submitted 7 hours ago • 2 comments

One generation mourns the tragic death of the ellipsis; another celebrates the multi-hyphenated rise of the em dash.

submitted 45 days ago • 0 comments

Telling the cheese you’re eating that it’s your favourite cheese is like picking a favourite child, something you should only ever do when all the other cheeses are out of earshot.

submitted 179 days ago • 3 comments

𝘉𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘦𝘷𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘉𝘳𝘰𝘬𝘦𝘯 𝘋𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘴 is my favorite song about neglected transportation infrastructure.

submitted 140 days ago • 11 comments

This day in history. 1789. The French Third Estate uttered the historic Tennis Court Oath: YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS MAN YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS YOU GUYS ARE THE ABSOLUTE PITS OF THE WORLD.

submitted 365 days ago • 2 comments

Matt LeBlanc is short for his real name, Mattress le Blanket.

submitted 682 days ago • 7 comments

Imagine how scary it would be if birds really did appear every time you are near.

submitted 505 days ago • 27 comments

Terrifying if real: assclowns

submitted 35 days ago • 7 comments

If you eat a turducken, you become the fourth layer

submitted 13 hours ago • 27 comments

him: license and registration, please me: *slides him fish* him: ... me: *slides him another fish* him: have a good day, sir

submitted 1 day ago • 4 comments

I try to maintain a balance between my online life and my real life and my secret life.

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

Kim Jong Un really missed a trick when he didn’t name his kid Kim Jong Deux.

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

You must be one of these people my English teacher warned me about

submitted 8 hours ago • 0 comments

The extra R in hemorrhoids is to make sure you pronounce it with a unnecessarily long rolling R

submitted 8 hours ago • 0 comments

So you did hear the safe word but "you weren't convinced I spelled it right"?

submitted 8 hours ago • 0 comments

String theory? More like string fact. Strings are 100% real, I’ve got them in my shoes FFS.

submitted 215 days ago • 27 comments

[Galilee AD17, around dinner time] Mary: you are not going out until your room’s tidy Jesus: aw mom, dad said I can be messy Joseph: nice try son, I said you may well be the Messiah but you can still clean your room Jesus: I hate you, you’re not even my real dad!

submitted 166 days ago • 5 comments

This day in history. 1816. Canada's first Thanksgiving celebrated victory in the War of 1812. Picture the Ewok celebration at the end of Return of the Jedi but with woodchucks.

submitted 366 days ago • 2 comments

The female urge to take up witchcraft and wander out to a jungle near a beach somewhere with my cats and a case of chapstick

submitted 1 day ago • 5 comments

It’s been a helluva day so I’m having a drink at my desk with my favorite stoner dish of a pepperoni pizza slice with mac & cheese on top so this should fix me

submitted 19 hours ago • 1 comment

Good moaning Bsky...Todays outrage comes with a 3.5% inflation premium...don't say I never give you anything..

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

She's a 10 but can feel anxious in ways you can't even imagine.

submitted 9 hours ago • 0 comments

Be sure to do more whimsical things, put no limits on your whimsy.

submitted 9 hours ago • 0 comments

I see you like my posts, you little freak.

submitted 7 hours ago • 0 comments

The car park at work today looks like a game of tetris that somebody started and then walked away from

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

I just needed a little excitement…. whispers oh yeah

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

I want my yard to be the place all the bees can’t stop talking about hopefully 🙏 generate a lot of buzz

submitted 22 hours ago • 0 comments

Men can be a little clueless, so if she's angry at me, she puts on a cape and tights so I know that she is super mad

submitted 9 hours ago • 0 comments

Getting old is a game of Press Your Luck with a board full of Whammies (if you remember this game show, congrats, you're old)

submitted 8 hours ago • 1 comment

“I almost drove to a gas station to fill up my car despite already doing that this morning if you want to know my mental state” “Here’s your food, sir” “Thanks, you too”

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Woke up thinking it’s 3am and it’s only 11:30. 👀

submitted 12 hours ago • 0 comments

Wherefore art thou, Charlie Brown.

submitted 16 hours ago • 0 comments

Tears of a clown make for a good song but great lube.

submitted 16 hours ago • 0 comments

People sicken me, but I’ve built up quite the tolerance.

submitted 16 hours ago • 0 comments

To avoid disappointment; stop seeing only the good parts of people and start seeing the whole reality of what they’re really showing you.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

- What does bésame mean? - Kiss me. - If I do, will you tell me? - OK.

submitted 23 hours ago • 1 comment

Gentle reminder that occasionally it’s beneficial to put down your phone, go outside, and judge and criticize people in person.

submitted 22 hours ago • 18 comments

I love you, but as a friend… with a pool.

submitted 18 hours ago • 3 comments

Never thought I would find myself looking forward to paying someone to stick a needle into my spine but never say never I guess.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Growing up in the 70s, the Dodgers were the dreaded enemies of my beloved Big Red Machine. Today I couldn't be more fond of that shade of blue.

submitted 16 hours ago • 2 comments

Sure I could google the question and act like I have all the answers, but I’d rather just tell you what I already know: babies come from hospital vending machines.

submitted 12 hours ago • 1 comment