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holycrayons.bsky.social
Geordie. Pyjamas. Some kids. You know the script.
731 posts 597 followers 281 following
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Posts 18 Comments 32

First night in the nursery like a big lad 🥺

submitted 1 day ago • 5 comments

New euphemism for sex just dropped

submitted 5 days ago • 3 comments

I've just watched the episode of Clarkson's Farm where loads of piglets died and quite honestly, I'm not okay. On the plus side though, I can say with a moderate degree of confidence, at least I'm not as shit a mum as female pigs are.

submitted 5 days ago • 4 comments

I feel I should add, this isn't a regular occurrence. The last time I was there was March 2023 and I was waiting for a call to say the hospital were ready to do CG 2.0's first transplant. I got home after that appointment and received the call and he had his first transplant 8 days later.

submitted 6 days ago • 2 comments

I've got a headache in my eyebrows and I have regretfully got an appointment at the beauty salon to get my lashes and eyebrows fluffed up. Worse still, the therapist lady will want to chit chat so my discomfort will not only be on a physical level but also a spiritual/emotional level.

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

So, what you're saying is, I'm the only person that doesn't watch #TOTP on a Friday night? Is this the 'thing' now? Do I need to be getting on board with this? Have I got the FOMO? Or am I just hungry?

submitted 6 days ago • 2 comments

I encountered a very angry old man driving a Dacia this afternoon. He gestured *wanker* at me because I stopped to let someone in front of me in traffic. As if THAT didn't anger him enough, I stoked the fire by reciprocating the gesture. WHEW LADS. Old boy went OFF.

submitted 7 days ago • 3 comments

F'kin foetuses.

submitted 7 days ago • 1 comment

My dress has pockets. I wore this dress briefly two days ago. Just put it on and found a pocket offering. Forgetful fatty 🥹🫠

submitted 8 days ago • 3 comments

I've popped some Night Nurse, troops.

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

Snort.

submitted 8 days ago • 2 comments

submitted 8 days ago • 1 comment

Honestly, at this point I would be willing to pay channel 4 to STOP making shows about shagging. I've just caught some 30 something virgin get her naked chebs complimented by a bloke wearing hippy beads with his wang out in a yurt.

submitted 9 days ago • 1 comment

No! If there is a heaven I hope they cheer when he arrives. youtu.be/VXED2AVlbR0?...

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

I've caught a cold and I'm still turbo anemic and perpetually tired and I'M DEFINITELY LIVING MY BEST LIFE.

submitted 9 days ago • 2 comments

"A growing recognition that women's pain should be treated"

submitted 10 days ago • 2 comments

Judging people is bad. But also, they absolutely smell like tuna and fruity vapes. Their Calpol syringes smell a bit funky too.

submitted 10 days ago • 1 comment

Crotch Goblin 2.0 is watching something on Ch 4 about rich people living in the south of France and he said "look mammy, they're playing Cheers!" when he saw a couple quaffing some red wine. Subsequently I propose we all now adopt the term 'playing Cheers' when talking about pursuits in alcohol.

submitted 11 days ago • 2 comments