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holysnail.bsky.social
My religion is very simple. My religion is slime.
66 posts 203 followers 716 following
Regular Contributor
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Posts 17 Comments 33

Ok America. What the fuck?

submitted 140 days ago • 0 comments

Was inspired to set a new #lifegoal today.

submitted 185 days ago • 0 comments

The Christmas binge is already in full swing. Prawn crackers and miniature heroes for breakfast. Pray for my poor body.

submitted 192 days ago • 0 comments

Russell Brand: "our father who art in heaven and that. Please forgive my trespassing that my mr.winky made me do" God: "fuck off Russell you rapey grifter. Also I'm not real"

submitted 200 days ago • 0 comments

I long for the days when my Christmas party involved 10 billion shots and hours of dancing, and I could still function the next day. TLDR: Boohoo I'm old.

submitted 200 days ago • 0 comments

Fairy lights just make everything better

submitted 205 days ago • 0 comments

Dear everyone. If you are parked on the opposite side of the road, PLEASE TURN OFF YOUR STUPID LED HEADLIGHTS.

submitted 208 days ago • 0 comments

Feeling really inspired after a health coaching workshop today. I will be a better slime-producer tomorrow!

submitted 209 days ago • 0 comments

We’re now at 23,860 members… …and I just want to say a massive thank you to all the people who signed up and joined over the past week. This is how we build the community and the power to get back to where we belong. ❤️

submitted 210 days ago • 23 comments

Me: takes weight loss drugs to be a skinnier snail Also me: eats 4 bags of sweets on top of the drugs, so now I feel extra sick.

submitted 211 days ago • 1 comment

Finally a rap battle will be decided in the proper forum: a court of law.

submitted 211 days ago • 8 comments

Wowee a bit of sunshine makes such a difference to my wellbeing. Even if it does dry out my slime a little. I hope you're all having a sunny, slimy day!

submitted 212 days ago • 0 comments

Won #taskmaster (the fake one). Now need to become a famous snail comedian so I can do it for real.

submitted 212 days ago • 1 comment

I just fixed a typo on Wikipedia and it made me feel powerful! Not bad for a gastropod.

submitted 214 days ago • 1 comment

Pretentious, moi?: Josh Brolin’s poetry about Dune has landed, whether we like it or not

submitted 215 days ago • 9 comments

Rewatching all of Michael Jackson's videos with my toddler-snail, who is obsessed. He was an odd duck, wasn't he?

submitted 216 days ago • 0 comments

To all my #Bournemouth homies, I hope you're keeping snug in your shells. #snowdays

submitted 216 days ago • 0 comments