Profile avatar
howardm.bsky.social
I can explain https://howardmittelmark.com/about
894 posts 1,981 followers 465 following
Prolific Poster
Conversation Starter

This is so me.

She looks like Cadfael is going to investigate her murder

Guy who just started wearing bowties, looking disdainfully at room full of people not wearing bowties: "Normies."

Publisher trick to subtly lure women into reading Lee Child.

I come from several generations of people who weren't farmers

It spells "ketamine" if you keep going!

Naming them "Romeo and Juliet" is a little on the nose for my taste.

@calmtomb.bsky.social Noticed this today.

Wow. Stop the fucking presses. Could they be any more patronizing?

This is like putting a guy named Charles Pan Am Flight 103 in charge of air traffic safety.

The Monkey's Paw, but it's a food-delivery app.

So fancy that their bidet has a setting for still or sparkling.

Do these multitudes I contain make me look fat?

The novel that dares to ask: Is all as it seems?

So, sometime later this summer, I’ll be putting out my first collection of stories. Contains the title story (a middle finger to the tiresome “scary clown” trope, some previously published work and five new pieces. This all feels quite weird, mostly in a good way.

The Group Chat of Theseus

Naming them "Romeo and Juliet" is a little on the nose for my taste.

figured out how to solve the crisis of AI in education

Weird how men might mean either the best thing or the worst thing when they say pussy.

I've always been someone who inspires strong reactions in people, one way or the other. Nobody's ever neutral or ambivalent. People either hate me, or they revile me.

If I was a maw, I would just not gape.

Due to age and inclinations, I assumed this was going to be about some tricky Martin Gardner puzzle or something.

It's really creepy when you find lipstick on one of your glasses, but nobody in your family has lips.

Maybe the real trade agreements are the allies we screwed along the way.

Show about a copy editor who doesn't play by the rules. On each episode, he gets fired from a new job.

This is unfair, and speaking as a guest here, I vehemently object. Btw, here's a picture of some typical British buskers.

for the potato fears not death

Great bad-break coinage.

I haven't got a clue what goujons actually are, but I choose to believe it is a French term for balls.

my (first ever) interview with Big Echo on ANOTHER WORLD ISN'T POSSIBLE, my debut collection of stories out this week from Wanton Sun www.bigecho.org/brendan-byrn...

How... how many animals did you try it on?

people think "batcopter" combines the words "bat" and "copter" but actually it's "pter" which is greek for "wing" and "batco" which is Bruce Wayne's merchandising subsidiary

The Social Media Feeds of Dorian Gray

tfw you are so successful you can say your latest novel is kind of eh in the acknowledgements and your publisher has to let you.

It's really disconcerting how small food portions are in the UK when you're used to eating in the US. As @sannewman.bsky.social puts it, you feel both cheated and judged.

Do I like pina coladas? Babe, they call me Mr. Pina Colada. That's my drink. I walk into any bar in town? They'll have a pina colada waitin' for me. I fuckin LOVE pina coladas. I once slammed 22—Hey! Where ya goin'? I thought you wanted to walk in the rain! Cause I fuckin' love walkin' in the rain!