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itsabbyyep.bsky.social
she/her Typos? You've come to the right place Recent: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:awyncbnck2xzf4obkdqep7ms/feed/aaaovdhpfgmmm Popularist: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:awyncbnck2xzf4obkdqep7ms/feed/aaaeacnurw62m Avi by @riotgrlerin.bsky.social
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River Side may not be one of those big Vegas casinos but you wouldn’t know it if you saw our buffet’s pudding selection.

Good news everyone! It’s now been 3 days since the last person was taken by the freakishly large owl that lives on the roof.

That's not what she said

Our ostriches are not friendly. They are evil incarnate. Please remember this while enjoying our morning walking tour through their enclosure.

If you think you’ve made poor life decisions, there is a woman who not only married Stephen Miller, she left him for Elon Musk.

Every time Chris Cillizza trends, I remember these tweets.

I'm never more locked in than when someone tells me their dog doesn't like very many people.

asked a magic 8 ball if 2025 was going to get any better and it collapsed in on itself like a dying star

Starting to suspect that the whole Star War was a hoax and that Obi Wan Kenobi made up The Horse

I can’t believe some asshole fish evolved to walk on land and now we’re here

*unleashes the kraken *the kraken runs off to play with the other krakens in the park

Just saw a fossil of a woman lean tf on her horn for no good reason & the dude she was honking at said "Come on, you're too old to be that rude" lmao

Take the "w" from "whole," make those expressions ickier: - a hole new ballgame - the hole wide world - the hole schmear

"You see, these Spice Girls, they challenged this man and said that if he wanted to be their lover they would have to get with their friends and....and....men have been under....this pressure....now.....since 1996. And I'm sad for them"

Andrew tate won't see your posts celebrating his new charges. But your friends who are sex traffickers will

every morning i get up early and shave my body with a broadsword

phone sex operator: oooh mommy? sure, i’ll be your mommy. have you been a bad little boy? me: lol no, i said “umami”. this soup is delicious. anyway, what do you think happens when we die?

[introducing a girl to my parents] these are the roommates i was telling you about

A little less conversation, a little more staying at home away from people

An elderly couple slow-dancing in their living room. The year is 2050. The music is Smash Mouth.

We need a Disney Princess who’s going through menopause.

While the ducks in the parking lot are not an official exhibit, we’d still like you to give us $1 for looking at them.

Let’s get some trans joy going, here is an updated version of my Trans Writers & Authors starter pack! The folks in here are either moots and/or i’ve read & enjoyed their work. Whether you need some escapism or a dose of revolutionary optimism, there’s something in here for everyone. 🏳️‍⚧️💖🏳️‍⚧️

One day you’re young, and the next you have to be told that your phone’s flashlight is on.

I open Netflix like a refrigerator, not looking for anything specific but with the hope of finding something that fills the void.

tech bro is short for technically broken

Just saw a fossil of a woman lean tf on her horn for no good reason & the dude she was honking at said "Come on, you're too old to be that rude" lmao

Take the "w" from "whole," make those expressions ickier: - a hole new ballgame - the hole wide world - the hole schmear

we need a Democratic party for the left