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itsmattjordan.com
“All my haters become my waiters when I sit down at the table of success.” - Mayor Eric Adams
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Posts 39 Comments 11

Guy named Michael Powell throwing around the words "magic realism" in the year of our lord 2025 is Stolen Powell & Pressburger Valor.

submitted 45 minutes ago • 1 comment

Remember the coconut tree stuff? That whole thing was less than a year ago, but I feel like I've lived a decade

submitted 19 hours ago • 0 comments

submitted 22 hours ago • 0 comments

As an enjoyer of garbage true crime docs I am over the moon about this Karen Read verdict.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

why did we let anyone other than the engineers of the noble honda civic even attempt building for space flight www.theverge.com/news/689183/...

submitted 1 day ago • 166 comments

ok, thanks

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

Big news... digimon otis has finally made it to Bluesky

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

the lesson of this isn't that tucker carlson is actually good but that you should ask these people basic factual questions instead of bullshit about politics

submitted 1 day ago • 768 comments

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"Bill Mitchell" is just one of those names that guarantees you're going to be a dumbass

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Not an original point but worth saying again - there is not a single element in this picture that identifies any of these folks as law enforcement agents. No badges, no uniforms, no vests. Out of context it just looks like a bunch of random guys are kidnapping a mayoral candidate.

submitted 2 days ago • 733 comments

Has Cuomo even made a statement about Lander? You know, the guy who keeps saying he'll stand up to Donald Trump?

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Dying to know what kind of secret special knowledge Jennifer Love Hewitt and Freddie Prinze Jr. have about escaping a hook wielding killer that only they can pass on to the kids in the I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER reboot.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

At least we're having some laughs along the way

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Rubbing a big ole stick of butter all over myself and basting in the sun until golden brown

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

I am once again reminding everyone that the alternative health obsession with beef tallow is because of McDonald's french fries, which is the basis of everyone complaining about seed oils, and has expanded into a miracle substance like ivermectin did. Getting into "wellness" makes you an easy mark.

submitted 2 days ago • 8 comments

Miniature American flags for others

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 4 days ago • 16 comments

Oh youre jacking off to the sabrina carpenter sexy dog pic? Boring. Ill instead be jacking off to the album covers of Schubert , and Strauss

submitted 5 days ago • 132 comments

a running theme of the 2020s seems to be “it’s very bad, but it’s also very funny”

submitted 4 days ago • 16 comments

I need everyone on Normal People internet to know that American Girl Doll Instagram is doing doll protests today. There are tiny t-shirts and signs. AND THEN I realized it's a joint protest with the Barbie ppl, where there are EVEN TINIER SIGNS.

submitted 4 days ago • 166 comments

🎵Hello darkness My old friend I've come to talk to you again🎵

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 4 days ago • 93 comments

Bluesky today: here's all the real things going on in the world with video or news sources to back it up. Twitter: Did Tim Waltz assassinate a democrat? Here's AI footage of a military parade in the US even though a real one is happening. Global war is a small price to pay for Iran is ultimate evil

submitted 4 days ago • 14 comments

Thinking about it happening by lightning strike. That's a nice thought. Just sitting here smiling.

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

🎶 it’s like raaaa-aaaainnnn on your fucking parade

submitted 4 days ago • 37 comments

I don't know why, but this is one of my favorite Hitchcock shots.

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

lmao get her

submitted 7 days ago • 148 comments

Tonight's movie

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

Fuck this guy. He attended Trump's MSG rally in a non-work capacity, wore his dress blues, and faced no consequences.

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

"Hey guys, American Democracy is eroding and we're potentially on the brink of World War III, perfect time to drop the press release about the Whites Only category. Get it done then go home. See you tomorrow."

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

I thought it was called scissoring

submitted 6 days ago • 1 comment

The Raid: Attempt at Redemption

submitted 6 days ago • 1 comment

This MSNBC Ticker reminds me of the joke from The Onion's 9/11 issue: "Massive Attack On Pentagon Page 14 News"

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

THIS NIGHTMARE WILL BE IN FULL COLOR

submitted 6 days ago • 19 comments