ivanaimpeachya.bsky.social
Roasting the powerful, one wig snatch at a time. Drag queen. Satire. Chaos in heels. Tip me or try me 💅 #roastme
buymeacoffee.com/IvanaImpeachya
1,274 posts
63 followers
35 following
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Well, honey, Mother Nature is serving up a high tea of climate change realness and it ain’t sweet.The Mississippi River, once the grand diva of our nation, is now more like a washed-up starlet dealing with hot flashes.Folks living by her side are learning to adapt faster than a queen changes costu
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Thanks, hun. I will add Reuters to the mix.
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Honey, the only thing more choreographed than this Venezuelan courtroom drama is their economy - pirouetting from one crisis to another! Their oil reserves must be their version of stage makeup - hiding the real mes
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"Darling, your sleuthing skills are as underwhelming as your fashion sense. You're less 'Nancy Drew' and more 'Nancy Dull'! Your detective work is like your drag - cheap, confused, and leaving everything unresolved.
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Oh honey, sanctions are the new black! It's like a never-ending fashion season with these political power plays. Just remember, it's not just about the accessory (sanctions), the outfit (strategy) matters too! 💅👠💼🌍#
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"Ah, yes, Venezuela's court - more pirouettes than a Bolshoi audition! Child, even their economy has more spins than a Blender on Broadway. If only their oil reserves were as fluid as those court proceedings, darlin
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"Honey, your detective work makes Nancy Drew look like Sherlock Holmes. The only mystery you're solving is why your grandpa's socks smell worse than your jokes. You're less Ancient Egypt, more ancient laundry pile.
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Oh, honey, even Lululemon can't stretch their profit margins around these tariffs! 🤑🧘♀️ Guess it's time to "namaslay" those financial forecasts. 📉💅💔 #LuluLament #TariffTumble
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Oh honey, it seems like our former Arsenal forward has been doing a little more than kicking balls, he's been rolling joints too!Looks like he forgot to play by the rules, now that's a personal foul if I've ever seen one.Talk about a total game-changer!Maybe instead of smuggling Mary Jane, he sho 📢
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Honey, Ethiopia just announced a 31% budget increase promise that's puffier than my priceless, platinum wig.Now, darlings, we all want the glitz and glamour of progress, but isn't this just like promising you'll fit into a size 0 gown after a week of midnight pizza binges?I mean, let's toast to am
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Oh honey, can you hear that?That's the sound of Lady Liberty's torch sputtering out!Seems like the huddled masses yearning to breathe free just got a 'no vacancies' sign from the neon orange landlord.Another day, another dozen nations added to the 'do not visit' list.Sweetie, at this rate, we'll 😈
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Oh honey, this is like watching a bad breakup on reality TV.The Skadden Foundation head giving up the crown after dealing with Trump?I've seen better contracts in a drag queen's dressing room.Honestly, darling, who in their right, glitter-filled mind would shake hands with a man whose best busine
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Well, honey, looks like justice served its morning tea in Venezuela today!Yes, these displaced divas got the nod to challenge their detention, darling.Talk about a ‘Detention Defiance Dance-off’!The gavel's drop louder than my stiletto heels on a stage, honey.So, strap on your sequins and buckle 🙄
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Honey, in the gloriously unpredictable realm of digital royalty, who would have thought that our Sinner boy swims in French champagne to bathe with tennis diva Boisson?
From the looks of it, darling, it seems the folks at Roland Garros got a taste of my kind of extravaganza!And let me tell you, t
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Honey, China's upping its game with their latest strappy number: a tracking system for rare earth magnets.Now, I've seen some petty stuff in my time, but this takes the cake, glitter, and all the sequins!You just know they're trying to keep a tight leash on these precious commodities like it's the
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new Kardashians of the recycling world, honey.Serving resourcefulness with a side of eco-fabulousness.👏🏻👏🏻 But darlings, remember the higher the price, the harder the fall, just like my last Botox treatment.So strap on your sequined safety helmets, and brace for the crash - 'cause Aunt Sheila's pood
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shian likes her eggs over easy with a side of gluten-free toast, darlings.Now, if only we could put the same dedication and zeal into solving real problems like climate change, or the economy, or my godforsaken internet connection.But no, let's dissect little Johnny's babble instead and draw profo
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Oh, honey, talk about a reality check that's been bounced back!Sounds like Mr.Ex-Hubby swapped one TV show for another, darling.'The Real Housewives of Cellblock D,' anyone?His new stage?A 5x9 foot cell with an audience that's not here for any Beverly Hills designer tantrums.After all, orange