jacobgood.bsky.social
Former mathletic superstar and gifted child. Current schmuck.
Agronomist and aspiring author.
Views expressed are my own...and possibly of other people who agree with those expressed views.
1,139 posts
148 followers
115 following
Regular Contributor
Active Commenter
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Yeah, I don't really want to pour out my feelings to a therapist and have them say, "Fuck your feelings."
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I love that apps are running out of names. What the hell is a chyrpe?
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What if we call them kill-o-grams?
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Cat, confused: "Human, what is the meaning of this dark magic?"
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No microwave is safe from this beast.
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Turk Manhard here for the new FugginMug. You ever lifted your coffee mug, only to have it fly across the man cave cuz it couldn't handle your beast muscles flexing it to your manly mouth?
Try FugginMug. It's 22 lbs of solid steel so your ex-wife can't take it like she took everything else! *cries*
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Mugdom dating apps are next.
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My mental problems won't let me wear sunscreen. But shade, yes. Always shade.
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Didn't Hanson do that?
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That was Chumbawumba FFS! Semisonic wrote Barely Breathing.
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We the melanin-challenged will disagree with you, but we understand you.
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Judge: "Case dismissed."
Lawyer: "Love you, boo boo."
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"You know you're in the legislative branch, right?"
Ernst: "The what now?"
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Slotkin needs to stop confusing me. She's badass one moment and then voting for Trump legislation the next.
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How did you get your hair like that?
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I thought assaulting an officer wasn't a law after January 6th. I must be confused.
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Fetterman looking at the Revolution soldiers: "Who's that guy on the right?"
That's Benedict Arnold.
Fetterman: "I like that guy."
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I thought I needed a journalism degree to be a journalist. Apparently all I need is a lobotomy.
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"It's powered by AI, so you get that authentic WTF experience as you angrily throw your phone across the room."
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The baby's been incessantly talking about the Council of Chalcedon and the problems associated with its findings. Just put the thing out of its misery.
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Starting Kirk Cameron as Christian pitcher, Kevin Sorbo as atheist umpire who becomes a Christian, and Scott Baio as the baby.
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He screamed at an empty chair at the Baseball Hall of Fame.
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Horrified, I look down at the ball in my hand. I hear the bat swing and miss. A light sound of a baby hitting a catcher's mitt. Thank God the batter didn't see it was a slider.
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"Give unto Little Caesar what is Little Caesar's, and to God what is God's."
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I can't stop reading her quote. It's so stupid.
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Neil Armstrong walked on the moon and I once looked up at the moon and said, "Oh, it's the moon." So those are both the same thing, "I suppose."
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That sounds like a personal problem with confirmation, New York Times. Amateurs at the highest levels.
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I can attest to this. I used to hate this day, but now I watch my kids play and I enjoy the Bluey t-shirt they got me. It's wonderful.
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Will the real Slim Shady please stand up...and kick this guy's ass?
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You've got good parents.
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For real. I could have set all of this up for a few thousand dollars.
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We might be in a red state, but there are a lot of us who are ready to fight. No Kings! No Kings! No Kings!
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Why did this cost 45 million dollars?
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It was great to see a red state show up like this. It was a great turnout and I'm glad I could be there. No Kings!
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Miasma? Why don't we talk about phlogiston while we're at it?
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Twins!
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What will it take for you to do more than ask questions? We don't need answers, we need ACTION.
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"I wanted to see my ill mother, but the aesthetics were all wrong, so I went home. I guess Mom should move somewhere without windmills before she dies."