kfadams.bsky.social
Parent | Wife | PhD | Oregonian | Trans | Computer Scientist | Systems | Early 40s.
TL a mess of tech, science, politics, defense, humor, trans stuff, and games.
I’m awkward AF.
she/her.
Posts not endorsed or representative of my employer(s).
2,216 posts
433 followers
520 following
Regular Contributor
Active Commenter
comment in response to
post
We were mutuals on Twitter before I left. They had a non-trivial following (10-20k) and routinely got into very public arguments with transphobes, flouted their legal credentials, etc.
It’s why a lot of folks are kind of WTF-ing as he (at the time) would go toe to toe a lot with detrans grifters.
comment in response to
post
They could take a quiet path, clarify, and just exit stage left but nooopppeee.
comment in response to
post
Maybe I’m just retconning, by I remember finding their frequent vitriol, even on our behalf at the time…. Odd and occasionally counterproductive.
I wonder if some of that was born of internal conflict which suuuuccckkks, but also way to throw us under the bus.
comment in response to
post
I think once you hit your late 20s age gap is kinda irrelevant as long as both parties are open about what they’re doing. And even then at worst I might raise an eyebrow but it’s not my freaking concern.
And once you’re in your 30s, pffft, give it a rest guys.
comment in response to
post
But you’re calling into question *life saving* care that that overwhelming majority of trans people approve of because of your mistake.
Please, leave us in peace.
comment in response to
post
It sucks that you’re struggling with your identity, I think the entire trans community sympathizes deeply with that. I haven’t seen a single serious post that questions your hardship there…
comment in response to
post
Make no mistake Hendrix, if you were just another quiet detransition, nobody would bat an eye, and we’d all wish you well.
But you spent years as a highly visible, vocal, and combative proponent of trans rights.
And now you’re trying to take the high ground while throwing us under the bus.
comment in response to
post
Yayyy!
My wife has been working with one of the regional branch libraries in Portland and it’s her favorite part of her job.
comment in response to
post
There are some dipshits, there always are, but the community seems much more collegial and willing to forgive and try.
comment in response to
post
And I have vastly more active followers than I ever did on Twitter.
comment in response to
post
Okay, I am totally stealing that phrase.
comment in response to
post
What an unserious person. I will never be able to unsee the people suffocating in their own bodies because the virus melted their lungs. Whole families showing up together at the brink of death. Myself & my colleagues putting on garbage bags & months-old N95 to resuscitate them in hospital driveways
comment in response to
post
I love living wife as a trans woman, I like seeing myself in the mirror and going “holy shit! That’s me!”
Every step I’ve taken has made me feel more alive, but if I had to *start* with 2 years of social transition I’d have died.
comment in response to
post
But because that narrative was that you have to loathe yourself and your body to be “really trans” I just never let myself explore it. I just repressed and ignored it until I was almost non-functional but even then, I wouldn’t meet the dysphoric criteria.
I am so, so much happier and at peace now.
comment in response to
post
This hits so hard. Thank you for sharing.
I was very similar, I didn’t hate myself, I just didn’t _care_.
I wasn’t suicidal but I _was_ a ball of depression and anxiety.
I knew I quietly wanted to be a girl since I was 11.
comment in response to
post
Didn’t know about Amaya, but they were always kinda uh, concerning IMO.
When I was still on Twitter I ended up having to mute her(?) after multiple instances of pages long word salad.
comment in response to
post
I wish cis people more widely understood that accepting and even embracing something is not the same as wanting it.
I wish I was born in the “right” body. I’d vastly prefer that.
But my existence as a trans person is preferable to trying to continue pretending I’m cis.
comment in response to
post
In fact, the trans community I’m a part of was IMO excessively cautious about it. Almost irritatingly so. But I also understand _why_
At every opportunity they would remind me I didn’t have to transition, and only I could make the determination to do so.
comment in response to
post
Dangly earrings bumping/rattling softly as I walk.
I know for some it’s not gendered, but for me it was a long held desire I kept at arms length.
comment in response to
post
You know how many people told me I’m trans? Zero.
They told me only I could figure that out.
How many encouraged me to transition? Zero.
Most said I should carefully consider it and that it has high costs.
comment in response to
post
I think my (slight) surprise is that usually their tactics seemed more directly deceptive (downplaying impact, moaning about protestors, lawsuits, buying off fence sitters) than distraction look over here at what the trans are doing.
But today I learned….
comment in response to
post
Have you tried posing in your Speedo near it?
Birds and squirrels *love* that.
comment in response to
post
We also are more likely to be neurodivergent and have anxiety around social interactions. So some self selection to boot.
comment in response to
post
you can’t placate fascists with half-measures, because deep in their hearts they want the full measure and will forever find ways to return to it. you can only STOP them
comment in response to
post
>.< JFC I work in AI and even I am like “noooppeee”.
There’s a reason we don’t let kids learning arithmetic use calculators.
The same should go for AI. To say nothing of the disaster AI checking tools are….
comment in response to
post
It’s how we got to the “I identify as an attack helicopter hurrr durrr” bullshit.
There are no good answers, but pretending it’s not used against us is absolutely naive.
We’re even seeing a resurgence of people thinking being gay is a choice.
(See @erininthemorning.com recent comments on this)
comment in response to
post
What shocks me is how I’ve watched relatively intelligent people tie themselves into knots to rationalize this insanity.
One of my in-laws is a rabid anti-vaxxer and will absolutely corner you to screech about it seeking validation.
comment in response to
post
Yessssss.
comment in response to
post
Minoxidil can “go systemic” if you’re doing it orally, or so I’ve heard but it’s meant to stimulate hair growth, as opposed to simple blocking DHT.
comment in response to
post
Finasteride and minoxidil have wildly varying effects depending on the person. The few docs I’ve seen suggest the opposite on Fin as regards body hair, that it may reduce it. It’s often prescribe for trans feminine care so that? 🤷♀️
Obviously more reading and expertise than from someone like me.
comment in response to
post
And let me be clear, I’m one of the lucky ones whose family and friends largely accepted me.
So shed no tears for me!
comment in response to
post
I hate the pain that comes with it.
I hate that for so many it’s a choice of sacrificing their existing connections or sacrificing themselves.
We just want to live our lives and be who we are.
But it brings me hope to see stories like the above.
comment in response to
post
But if a few people in masks start lighting stuff on fire? Then you have news. This creates an *enormous* attentional advantage towards the most violent and chaotic kind of protest.
comment in response to
post
People really don't get that you do nonviolent protest specifically to generate THIS kind of thing.
It's not "be nonviolent so the cops don't hurt you"
It's "be nonviolent so the cops are seen HURTING NONVIOLENT PEOPLE"