krisank.bsky.social
Cancer survivor!Wife-Mom-CatLady, Strong affinity for reading, animals & politics. VAXer, screw RFK et al. Registered Democrat & hope to fight for reproductive, human & environmental rightsAtheist. Initimate with Autism. Screw Greedy autocrats!
2,393 posts
562 followers
300 following
Getting Started
Active Commenter
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This isn't going to turn out they way everyone is being sold that it will.
Sigh.
Its going to get very ugly before it gets better.
Humans are not ethically mature enough to wield this power.
The carnage will be real.
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True that.
And even a few over 40~
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Yes, the big, bad & ugly are on both sides.
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I find it ironic that a generation screaming to be seen as capable yet accepting of difference still can't understand that being different isn't the same as being a distraction.
Or learn to gracefully handle crticism
Or learn to apologize.
Once again, I apologize for hurting your feelings.
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Not only were there very few women; but most were not blonde. If they were, it was a natural yellow. We don't have time to maintime a fascade
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I was treated differently by all but my spouse when I went to my natural brown.
I never went back.
Why?
Because people took me more seriously when I diitched the heavy make-up & bleached hair. I started getting better contracts. I grew up! I eventually worked up to corporate projects where surprise:
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The fact is, you are beautiful whether you bleach or not.
What social pressure or job advantages does blonde hair give you?
I swam in college. It bleached my hair. People thot I was blonde. In Wonderbread White Nebraska.
I bleached it because my husband thot I was blonde.
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Women who bleach their hair whether they like it or not send a message: they dont like the color they were born with. They want to be seen differently.
The only question is:
Why do you bleach?
If you fimd that offensive. Thats on you.
It is an honest curiosity whether voiced or not.
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Woah.
First of all, my daughter is an adult. She can take care of herself.
2nd She has had to defend herself in front of me.
Criticism is part of life.
Constructive or mean.
I taught her how to listen & handle it.
3rd, I was not criticizing you. I noted that you bleach your hair. You don't need to
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Sigh.
What country is that?
I may have already been there.
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If you truly want to know me.
Understand what motivated me to reach out to a young woman who was so desperate for reassurance to her self-esteem she had to post a pic of herself prior to a job interview wanting to be wished luck....
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Which is why Trump is now in office.
You DON'T get it.
"there are greater things in heaven and earth.." than our little echo chambers.
And it saddens me that you are the ones who don't get it.
If you really are serious about learning more about me?
DM me.
I'll send you my info & you can decide
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Drama much?
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Educate yourself on why so many stylists are stepping away from doing any work with chemicals: straighteners & bleaching.
www.nih.gov
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Diagnosed in 2018 w/CLL (Blood xancer called Leukaemia).
Funny how so many women of my gen & younger are getting autoimmine & cancers that are linked to over-processed foods & unnecessary chemicals everywhere.
Dont take my word for it.
The NIH has decades of funded studies in their databaee.
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He has an M.S. in E.E. & works for the DOE & DOD. I live w/husband, son & 2 cats. I know Autism. I also know LGBTQ+ issues facing the community. I abhore violence. I grew up GOP, but after living 15 yrs in NM developed a love for DEI. It makes us better.
But chemicals are killing us.
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BTW: I live in Denver metro.
Think Blue.
1st state to vote for cannibus
Current gov is jewish & gay.
Mother to 22 yo twins b/g
M.A. in German Studies, B.A. in poli sci & german.
Parents owned a funrral home. (I know stoopid).
Married 40 yrs to same man I met in college.
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D'all read bios?
Not the enemy here. Starting to see why Republicans are getting annoyed w/us.
Sigh
If you think I am part of "the most ridiculously hostile sort of environment [you] can imagine" You have so very much to learn.
And you are making the very mistake I did. Judging without facts or bias
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Nebraska.
Google snakes out on the plains.
Ironic that THAT is y'alls takeaway from this.
I get it. I screwed up.
But when all is said & done, I have been in the working world 45 yrs. I have 22 yo twins b/g.
Call me what you will. Denigrate me as I did you if y'all feel better. Ive learned my lesson
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Rattle snakes.
Dax I am not the enemy.
But since this has devolved into a snarkfest, I will once again apologize.
I overstepped in offering unsolicted advice on appearance.
I know what my lesson in all this is.
Do you know yours?
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Sigh.
If you only knew.
But you dont.
Which is why this is such a broken country.
I am NOT the enemy here.
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I apologize for hurting your feelings. My advice was misplaced but came from decades of experience.
Hugs
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Confident in your natural beauty, you'd be taken much more seriously. I retired in 2018 after managing projects for companies. I go in & have to assess my resources, including employees assigned to me. Any temps, I worked to get hired. Time & again, I saw what did & didnt work.
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I understand I crossed a line in commenting on your hair.
What I saw was a beautiful woman hiding behind too much makeup & haveing a lovely shade of dk blonde hair destroyed by harsh bleaching. It hurt because you dont need the artifice. If you highlight your natural features & be ..
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Which tells me a lot about you.
It also leaves proof in perpetuity on social media for any HR person to find & judge your penchant for violence in the workplace.
I'd think, in this day & age, you'd understand the link between what you say & what data others collect & interpret about you.
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My daughter colors her hair red. She enjoys piercings & favors goth.
Her twin brother's hair is longer than mine. I never know on any given day if he will have a beard.
But, I have always cautioned them about unnecessary exposure to chemicals in hair products & mak-up.
But hey, you do you.
Hugs
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In your eyes, enhancing you physical qualities or being unique, expressing your personality make you stand out. In an interview, I have to ask: if I hire this person, will they be a distraction?
I also assumed the "interview" wasn't an "audition". Criteria for TV/theater is much different.
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Wow. Do you really think when I worked I would tell s.o. "use deoderant", " stop bleaching /dying your hair", "shave your beard"?
No. Using the criteria for a position, I interviewed & either rejected or passed them on to the next phase.
But judgements ARE made by us all. Even as YOU are judging me.
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And we all know that is a bad idea in this day & age. Even my 22 yr old son said I should have stayed out of it.
Now, I know better.
You do you.
BTW: Did you get the job?
Thats all that really matters.
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Union negtiations.
Both my sister & I were in HR.
She had the box of snakes put under her car in Lincoln Nebraska in late 1980s.
I got to deal w/the fist fights, knives & having a gun pulled on me. Fun times. And this wasn't LA or NYC. I lived in ABQ, NM.
But ignore me. I was trying to help.
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But like lipstck, it keeps coming back to remind us that not all people are created equal. And attempts to gain any advantage in the job market takes on varied forms... including superficial enhancements.
If beauty is skin deep & shouldn't be used to judge qualification for a job; why bleach?
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Reality?
Sometimes we have to compromise our ethics to eat or get health insurance.
Feeding into stereotypes by fake hair, fake boobs, lips, buttcheeks, lashes... only encourages the sterotypes that we've tried to banish.
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Unethical supervisors & mgrs exploit holes in employment law or company policies. Consequences? Only if caught.
And Ive watched friends do really stoopid & sometimes illegal stuff to keep a payck or health insurance.
But the hardest is learning to buck a system that favors sterotypes to this day.
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I've known all the subtle ways to discriminate w/impunity.
Ive listed to male mgmt malign women & there was very little I could do without having tires slashed. A shoebox full of snakes slipped under my car or my car painted keyed.
I worked hard to hire & keep employees only to watch...
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I interviewed hundreds & sat on dozens of panel interviews when I worked in HR. I know 1001 ways to fire someone most so they can't collect unemployment.
I've worn power suits.
Bleached my hair.
Stuffed my size 9 feet into pointed heels.
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www.plts.edu/alumni/memor...
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Jane Russel's 1st cousin was the minister at my wedding. She was in town to visit him and slipped in to watch part of the ceremony. She was way more talented. Yet everyone remembers Monroe. Why is that?
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I've suggested culinary school, but he doesn't want to take the fun out of cooking by making it 'work' instead of play. I get it.
And I refuse to relax until I'm in my urn. We never stop nurturing them either.
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Sigh.
Whatev.
Sorry. Not.
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I suspect, if she REALLY wants to own her future; to embrace her true self & meet the world headon unapologetically.
She mentioned wanting a job.
She didn't say what job.
But it doesn't matter.
Men prefer blondes.
Which is why so many women alter their perceptions of beauty & bleach.
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Bleaching/coloring hair is unhealthy longterm.
She's a beautiful woman without the bleaching.
More women need to decide if they really do look better or if it is meeting an artificially imposed sexist standard. In my personal experience; blondes are still seen as 'less than' in the business world.