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lex.vaughn.theneedling.com
Founder & Editor of @theneedling.com, Seattle's Only Real Fake News. Pulitzer Prize-winning real real news reporter. A lil more about me: https://bit.ly/4ey9Dza
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I would have guessed Fremont would make that transition first, but… alas.

Seattle has bent over backwards to bolster Trump's army in SPD. When Seattle inevitably looks like LA and the cops help defend ICE from protesters, I hope every elected official realizes they have funded fascism. And it will be far too late, but I hope it fucking haunts them

NEW: The Burner gals play "Am I The 'Evil' 'Corporate Shill' a la Reddit's AITA to commemorate Cathy Moore's time on council. Then we talk about the much eviler, shillier Rep. Adam Smith after Kshama Sawant announces she's running against him www.theburnerseattle.com/post/is-cath...

Ballard Farmers Market Begins Being Provided for Ambiance Only: tinyurl.com/2vprwxax

To celebrate Greeneville legalizing weed, we're now calling them Mariguanas.

Trump reminds Americans he only promised not to start foreign wars

I did the opposite of this where I loved the weather until June where it got warm and dry. BRING BACK THE RAIN.

Stay safe out there, LA folks

Harrell’s lazy cowardice has me saying “at least Jenny Durkan …” and I will never forgive Bruce Harrell for that.

The only person Bruce Harrell is brave enough to “fight” is a pregnant woman who stole his parking space* *but only if she’s unarmed and he has a gun

The last time the National Guard was activated in WA it was by a Democratic gov (Inslee) at the request of our Democratic mayor (Durkan) who also ordered a curfew www.fox13seattle.com/news/mayor-j...

Today's DOOM LOOP for @soseaemerald.bsky.social: "Goodbye Cathy" See the whole thing here: southseattleemerald.org/voices/2025/...

deep in the heart of darkest march this dude will be curled up in the fetal position on his couch, clutching a bottle of vitamin d tablets and softly humming 'it never rains in california' like a demented mantra

Petition to make the classic "Evergreen State College – Home of Environmental Terrorists and Homos?” permanent!

Visiting Seattle in the summer is a trap

Those are not mango boba in the tasty teas sold by the escaped Cirque du Soleil acrobats living in the woods.

Up there with "What's the big deal, it's just a little snow?" from the newly transplanted midwesterners.

This is satire from Lewis County Knews, but it wouldn't be a bad message to use in real life now that the Chehalis Tribe owns it. Hope they're inspired to get creative with it.

INTERESTING

It’s incredible but not surprising how much western media is blacking out one of the most recognizable and important activists in the world in Greta Thunberg going to Gaza on a single unarmed boat with food for starving children. It should be an hourly story with huge ratings and clicks.

sorry took me so long to respond, your text hung over me like a guillotine, growing like a tumor inside my messages, until the guilt became so unbearable i simply had to respond if only to relieve myself of the prison of your text, so yeah what’s up, how u doing?

This is satire from Lewis County Knews, but it wouldn't be a bad message to use in real life now that the Chehalis Tribe owns it. Hope they're inspired to get creative with it.

INTERESTING

That's right.

For the love of God do not move here cause you enjoyed visiting once in the summer

If you were looking for a good time and tried calling the number written in the bathroom stall, the area code should be 319, not 317.

A heat advisory for 83° in June is peak Pacific Northwest

The Fraggles enclosure has permanently closed. Our interns are washing the dye off the squirrels, and the vendor we bought them from is banned from any future contracts.

*looks around sheepishly* why did this totally serious publication write an article about me??

at least you could opt out of OneSeattle Vision™️

Caprelli could be heard calling friends back home to report how much more sunny Seattle weather is than everyone says. “These people don’t even own umbrellas!”

Surveillance knows when you’re picking your nose, Dennis.

evan buckley just picked a label im so proud if him

Unrepentantly, Randy “Aves Killer” Johnson renames his fastball “Dove Slayer 3000”.

‘Seattle Weather Really Not That Bad,’ Says Man Who Moved Here 4 Weeks Ago: tinyurl.com/3x532wrt

I can't even.... @joeveyera.bsky.social, this is for you, too!

The Needling for another win. 🏳️‍🌈

On Tuesday, the Seattle City Council passed a resolution signaling support for a plan to allow 80 8-foot tall advertising kiosks to be placed on sidewalks downtown and throughout the city. I’m conflicted — and I’m curious what other people think. 🧵

The only thing that could make this implosion better if it was in a Titanic submersible

if there was a bird-murderer halll of fame randy would be a first ballot shoe-in