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lockwilford.com
If you are looking for the other Lock Wilford you didn't find him. My top skeets: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:6sn5ipsdnbalrtkjgpjkr3u7/feed/aaafm23lyrjky My art: lockwilford.com
5,097 posts 6,292 followers 2,355 following
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Posts 30 Comments 19

you can’t hurt me, you’re not a spicy ramen noodle i sucked up my nose

submitted 1 hour ago • 0 comments

-I̶t̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶ ̶a̶l̶l̶ ̶m̶y̶ ̶f̶a̶u̶l̶t̶- -W̶e̶ ̶b̶o̶t̶h̶ ̶m̶a̶d̶e̶ ̶m̶i̶s̶t̶a̶k̶e̶s̶- -P̶r̶e̶t̶t̶y̶ ̶s̶u̶r̶e̶ ̶i̶t̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶n̶’̶t̶ ̶m̶e̶- Fuck you

submitted 1 hour ago • 0 comments

I just got home and I think I am going to ignore this alarm

submitted 55 minutes ago • 1 comment

Not sure if you are aware but there are Manatee stamps at the post office

submitted 7 hours ago • 3 comments

hey bluesky team, i’m one of the larger accounts on here and i was wondering? now i’m not asking for anything special here, but if i post my whole dick and balls, can you guys make sure it reaches a whole new audience? thank yer.

submitted 7 hours ago • 4 comments

A double shot of espresso and a big bowl of sativa and I'm ready to go

submitted 7 hours ago • 1 comment

Gingers have clovers for pubes

submitted 7 hours ago • 2 comments

Them: My engagement numbers suck! Me: Have you tried shitposting about it?

submitted 7 hours ago • 0 comments

Damnit! I hate it when I skip a day

submitted 7 hours ago • 1 comment

pasta

submitted 7 hours ago • 3 comments

RETVRN

submitted 8 hours ago • 2 comments

old man donald had a parade G I G I Joe

submitted 7 hours ago • 4 comments

She saw a lizard under the couch three weeks ago and now I see her sitting here everyday at the same time as she saw it, watching for it to reappear

submitted 7 hours ago • 1 comment

I got to work at 6:30 this morning, left at 1:30 this afternoon and after a short nap, I'm getting ready to go back for a 10pm - 6 am overnight.

submitted 8 hours ago • 1 comment

at a party with smart people who are discussing foreign affairs and praying someone asks what's the population of iran so i can chime in

submitted 15 hours ago • 58 comments

I can never understand pronouncing champagne and bologna.

submitted 13 hours ago • 0 comments

I prefer my flagpoles like I prefer my men: tall, tapered, rust-proof, and rope inside

submitted 19 hours ago • 3 comments

Woke up angry, and the coffee is not making a difference

submitted 21 hours ago • 1 comment

Boss: why is this report only half printed? Me: sorry, my printer ran out of maroon 5

submitted 21 hours ago • 0 comments

a nation on edge holds its breath as the former host of celebrity apprentice huddles with his advisors, the wrestlemania ceo and the former co-host of fox & friends weekends

submitted 1 day ago • 496 comments

[commercial for frozen pizza] NARRATOR: oh i am so sorry

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

It’s almost dark, about 99% humidity, and Beto has me outside hunting lizards.

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

Serious Social Media feels like a fucking oxymoron. All of you are a bunch of jokers, but some of you have yet to become self-actualized.

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

DONT LEAVE HOT DOGS IN CARS

submitted 1 day ago • 17 comments

sir patrick stew-art and soups: thread

submitted 1 day ago • 21 comments

Sometimes I look at your block list and imagine myself on it - me, flirting

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Dinner is a skillet of leftover steak, mushrooms, onions, and asparagus, on top of frozen tater tots, with six eggs, milk, and cheddar cheese.

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

There is a surprise skeet tonight that the world will remember for centuries.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Just imagine: huge baby seahorses born already wearing saddles, but it’s super unethical to ride them they’re sooooo young

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

How do you stay so thin when you eat like a disgusting pig? The nicest thing my grandmother has ever said to me. Thanks, dementia!

submitted 1 day ago • 10 comments