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makkapakkaflame.bsky.social
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Closest I ever come to feeling like a saint is when I give a cyclist the legal minimum amount of space when overtaking them. Go in peace, my 2-wheeled brethren, for I recognise you as a fellow road user of almost equal status. I won't even rev that much when overtaking. I am not like the other cars.

Every time you see a senior manager advocate for a mandatory return to office you have to consider that they’re probably just sad because it’s much harder to have extramarital affairs and sexually harass your staff when they’re happily and safely working from home

"This gathering could have been a scroll" - a busy wizard

Both Soundcloud and Spotify think I live in Manchester and keep recommending me gigs in Manchester. If I try to tell Soundcloud to show me gigs in Glasgow instead it says "No Results Found.", so I'm starting to wonder if my whole life is a hallucination.

How about a police drama but - get this - the detective is dealing with some personal problems they have to deal with and we have to watch that whole process in addition to the crime solving bit that we actually want to watch

Finding it so tough to explain to my kids what the world was like before the Segway

It's cool how you can read any random news story about China, learn the name of a city you've never heard of before, then google that city and discover that more people live in that one city than in the whole of Belgium

A lot of guys these days will act like they’re big Putsch heads but when you ask them to name one other than the Beer Hall and they clam right up

If people are so bothered about stolen valour why are we letting 6 year olds get away with wearing Minecraft backpacks that say “crafting since alpha” on them. These are the questions the mainstream media won’t touch.

Is there someone I can write to at Internet to opt-in to accepting cookies by default? Because Internet has been politely asking me about cookies for years now, and if I haven't bothered to find out what's wrong with accepting cookies at this point I'm never going to.

Had a dream where it was normalised that people can crawl into other people's mouths and come out of their bums without causing any apparent harm to either party. I was trying to point out to other people that that was pretty fucked up but everyone was very dismissive of my concerns.

Modern viewers may not realise that the bear suit scene in The Shining was originally intended to be unsettling, whereas in 2024 bear suit blowies have become normalised and effectively mandatory because of woke

Defund Paw Patrol

The difference between "getting a shave" and "being shaved" is bigger, and more important, than you might think

I heard that Chad Warden stopped posting videos because he got really into Steven Spielberg's Boom Blox on the Wii and couldn't keep living a lie

I've been on hold with my broadband provider long enough that the hold music playlist has looped and I'm hearing I'm Good by David Guetta and Bebe Rexha for the second time and I can't shake this uncanny feeling that i'ma have the best fuckin' night of my life.

It is often said that a man has to have a code, but I checked and that’s actually not true, just do whatever

Someone will tell you that Die Hard is actually a Christmas movie. You are a polite person, and your instinct will be to chuckle politely and tolerate their behaviour. You must reject this instinct, and instead embrace wrath. Verily, through righteous scorn bring peace to all men.

This actually happened

My phone network told me to look at my 2023 "story". Is it possible that not every service needs to do a year-end wrap up? What insights could it possibly give me, that I was in the top 1% of people that called my mum? The twist: it's not even personalised, just generic corporate boasting.

Mary’s boy child (Jesus Christ)

I was willing to forgive Wayfair for trafficking children in office furniture - everybody makes mistakes - but they've crossed a line now www.wayfair.co.uk/storage-orga...

I've never quite understood how making online leftist discourse as obnoxious and alienating as K-pop Twitter is going to unite the international working class, but at this point the project is too big to fail so I guess it's good to see people trusting the process and sticking to the plan

Traumatic scenes this morning as three year old realises that, while his advent calendar contains many chocolates, the him that he is today may only eat one chocolate, and must cede the remaining chocolates to 23 abstract, future versions of himself with whom he has little affinity.

Speaking as a massive, egotistical bastard whose crimes against humanity will only be fully understood after death, I am fiercely protective of the "do not speak ill of the dead" paradigm