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mattcolbert.bsky.social
78 posts 76 followers 147 following
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Posts 17 Comments 33

Call me old-fashioned, but I believe that drilling holes in human skulls allows bad spirits to escape

submitted 16 hours ago • 37 comments

Some of y'all can't handle 2 high agency males going at it and it really shows

submitted 1 day ago • 84 comments

This is basically like Christmas morning for me, the guy who goes around posting "and this surprises you how?" under people's political tweets

submitted 2 days ago • 3 comments

no matter what, if Musk is involved, it's gonna explode

submitted 2 days ago • 4 comments

This is the ranked choice ballot for NYC mayor.

submitted 8 days ago • 78 comments

hearing the foreman pull on the tail of the parrot steam whistle on friday afternoon before a 3 day weekend, i slide down the back of the brontosaurus i work on top of. the brontosaurus twitches its tail and i careen into a granite quarry pit, killing me instantly

submitted 15 days ago • 54 comments

There's some remarkable "I'm not mad" vocal work being done here, but I think it's high time Secretary Hegseth sits in front of Congress and explains why he has one really long sideburn and one normal-sized one. America demands answers.

submitted 47 days ago • 301 comments

the american electoral system is basically 500,000 information-resistant people across a handful of states taking a guess and then going "haha! oops!" every two years. this process takes 18 months and costs four trillion dollars every time

submitted 51 days ago • 277 comments

submitted 54 days ago • 175 comments

'Why are high fertility people always so weird?' A weekend with the pronatalists

submitted 55 days ago • 96 comments

you know things are going well when they break out the turnip photos

submitted 61 days ago • 1311 comments

(turning on CNBC like I heard Bama's down by 15 and just fumbled a kick return)

submitted 65 days ago • 24 comments

They used to call it a stove. A stove! Such an old fashioned word. I brought it back though. I said we’re touching the stove! Biden wouldn’t touch it, he was too sleepy! Sleepy Joe, remember that? Well we’re touching the stove now, putting my hand on it and maybe, quite possibly, my face!

submitted 65 days ago • 50 comments

The hardest part of recording “I Wanna Dance With Somebody” was getting Solid Snake to surprise guards at exactly the right times

submitted 82 days ago • 5 comments

Everyone in the Trump coalition voted for someone to get got. Most of them didn’t realize that they were that someone to someone else.

submitted 110 days ago • 93 comments

There's a Crisis of Masculinity in this country and the only way to solve it is to let me act like a cross between a baby and a movie villain

submitted 112 days ago • 253 comments

they could never make cool hand luke today. too many eggs

submitted 114 days ago • 12 comments