Profile avatar
mentalnomad.bsky.social
Has no plans to take over the world. Just like every night.
152 posts 132 followers 87 following
Prolific Poster
Active Commenter
Posts 30 Comments 20

very borb

submitted 9 hours ago • 0 comments

“How to stop an overflowing toilet” should not have a 30 second commercial before it on YouTube.

submitted 11 days ago • 256 comments

In hindsight, it was a bad move to install the mulberry bushes. We’ve lost a lot of weasels.

submitted 12 days ago • 10 comments

your honor. the defense rests. my client is tired and needs a nap. probably tired from all the murder.

submitted 15 days ago • 1 comment

overheard: i think that creep is listening to us

submitted 24 days ago • 33 comments

can someone help me identify this birb

submitted 28 days ago • 26 comments

If Waldo had worn polkadot instead of stripes he definitely would have been spotted

submitted 30 days ago • 7 comments

The French Revolution really took the weight off a lot of people’s shoulders

submitted 30 days ago • 4 comments

I shot a man in Reno just to watch him dry (I used a water pistol)

submitted 31 days ago • 4 comments

I can always tell if someone is lying. I can also tell if they’re standing.

submitted 42 days ago • 7 comments

@ologies.bsky.social

submitted 42 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 45 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 45 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 47 days ago • 28 comments

The average American has three friends.

submitted 47 days ago • 0 comments

the government won't tell you this but germ theory is real

submitted 48 days ago • 68 comments

Also works as an "any" key.

submitted 53 days ago • 0 comments

(reading the specs of a clown car) wow 32 cupholders

submitted 55 days ago • 24 comments

My sister’s MIL made cinnamon & sugar crescent rolls with marshmallow inside, representing Christ in his tomb. The marshmallow is supposed to be absorbed and leave a hole, representing the empty tomb — but she used huge marshmallows. Now Jesus is trapped and has expanded to 10Xs his normal size

submitted 59 days ago • 12 comments

why's it called a candy store and not a public display of confection

submitted 60 days ago • 1 comment

taught my dog sarcasm and now she won't stop snarking at strangers

submitted 68 days ago • 8 comments

I really have to wonder where the people in my head get half of the stupid things they say.

submitted 418 days ago • 5 comments

can’t stop thinking about the fact that a stick of butter is a loaf of milk.

submitted 71 days ago • 21 comments

Me: [Biting my lip to look sexy] Photographer: No, your lower lip.

submitted 69 days ago • 4 comments

submitted 69 days ago • 0 comments

one thing 2025 doesn't have yet, but could benefit from, is a mysterious constant worldwide noise. the noise will start out very quiet and get louder incrementally

submitted 72 days ago • 32 comments

traditionally, one of the strongest negotiating positions is when the entire world viscerally hates you

submitted 72 days ago • 53 comments

Where is our humanity?

submitted 73 days ago • 1813 comments

it's called a one-line poem because universe was taken

submitted 78 days ago • 0 comments

but they were all of them deceived, for *another* person was invited to the group chat

submitted 86 days ago • 7 comments