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mentalnomad.bsky.social
Has no plans to take over the world. Just like every night.
152 posts 132 followers 87 following
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Posts 30 Comments 20

very borb

submitted 17 hours ago • 0 comments

“How to stop an overflowing toilet” should not have a 30 second commercial before it on YouTube.

submitted 11 days ago • 256 comments

In hindsight, it was a bad move to install the mulberry bushes. We’ve lost a lot of weasels.

submitted 13 days ago • 10 comments

your honor. the defense rests. my client is tired and needs a nap. probably tired from all the murder.

submitted 16 days ago • 1 comment

overheard: i think that creep is listening to us

submitted 25 days ago • 33 comments

can someone help me identify this birb

submitted 28 days ago • 26 comments

If Waldo had worn polkadot instead of stripes he definitely would have been spotted

submitted 30 days ago • 7 comments

The French Revolution really took the weight off a lot of people’s shoulders

submitted 31 days ago • 4 comments

I shot a man in Reno just to watch him dry (I used a water pistol)

submitted 32 days ago • 4 comments

I can always tell if someone is lying. I can also tell if they’re standing.

submitted 43 days ago • 7 comments

@ologies.bsky.social

submitted 43 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 46 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 46 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 47 days ago • 28 comments

The average American has three friends.

submitted 48 days ago • 0 comments

the government won't tell you this but germ theory is real

submitted 48 days ago • 68 comments

Also works as an "any" key.

submitted 53 days ago • 0 comments

(reading the specs of a clown car) wow 32 cupholders

submitted 56 days ago • 24 comments

My sister’s MIL made cinnamon & sugar crescent rolls with marshmallow inside, representing Christ in his tomb. The marshmallow is supposed to be absorbed and leave a hole, representing the empty tomb — but she used huge marshmallows. Now Jesus is trapped and has expanded to 10Xs his normal size

submitted 60 days ago • 12 comments

why's it called a candy store and not a public display of confection

submitted 61 days ago • 1 comment

taught my dog sarcasm and now she won't stop snarking at strangers

submitted 69 days ago • 8 comments

I really have to wonder where the people in my head get half of the stupid things they say.

submitted 418 days ago • 5 comments

can’t stop thinking about the fact that a stick of butter is a loaf of milk.

submitted 72 days ago • 21 comments

Me: [Biting my lip to look sexy] Photographer: No, your lower lip.

submitted 69 days ago • 4 comments

submitted 69 days ago • 0 comments

one thing 2025 doesn't have yet, but could benefit from, is a mysterious constant worldwide noise. the noise will start out very quiet and get louder incrementally

submitted 72 days ago • 32 comments

traditionally, one of the strongest negotiating positions is when the entire world viscerally hates you

submitted 73 days ago • 53 comments

Where is our humanity?

submitted 74 days ago • 1813 comments

it's called a one-line poem because universe was taken

submitted 78 days ago • 0 comments

but they were all of them deceived, for *another* person was invited to the group chat

submitted 86 days ago • 7 comments