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ness2outof3.bsky.social
He/him, married, born 1984, Providence>Seattle, vector artist, webcomic enjoyer, union worker, puppet fancier, and NOSTRIL FETISHIST. Please retroactively turn 21 years old before having read this, thank you. 🚫2️⃣1️⃣🫵🤨
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The Occam/Chekhov/Chesterton Razor/Gun/Fence matrix. Summer’s off to a productive start.

Today at work, I dug around in 7 wet trash cans, in order to calm a family of 3 whose iPhones had been "Stolen by a junkie" & GPS triangulated back to my trash kingdom. Confusingly, the iPhones were FOUND in the 7th trash can, and the family thanked me by going away immediately without another word.

#MakeATerribleComicDay2025

Current work schedule: Sundays & Mondays, 5:45AM to 2:45 PM. Tuesdays Wednesdays & Fridays, 2PM to 11PM. Life is plain bad.

“The power of an idea”

i keep cracking up at this post on AI writing

That Elio movie has the scifi plot where a lone human has to make the case to a council of aliens that there's good in the world & we're not just a hell planet of evil nightmare creeps. BUT it's a Pixar movie so there's no way the aliens call his bullshit and brandish atrocity photos at him, right?

I know better than to shame a pop musician by name online but like... Could the millenial whoop just go out of style already? A certain band sounds like 47 variants on the Ducktales theme and they pipe it into my workplace and I have to work in my workplace and my hair is going to fall off.

I wish the social contract compelled people making shitty remakes to name them distinct like a fleamarket bootlegger. Why Not Train A Dragon? Short Mermaid. A Planet with more Apes! I Can So Totally Recall. Texas Landscaper Calamity. Oldboy (bad edition).

Entirely peaceful protest, mildly gay puppets!

The 14th is gonna be wild. The gay puppet slam falls on the same day as the No Kings protest and my job positioned my shift as spitefully as can be.

The Overton window for weed in Seattle is is about where it was for cigarettes in 1950, but I still cannot find any prog rock albums at the Goodwill.

it is important to note: thanks to internet sample sleuths, it is now a known fact that in this fully licensed Disney dancing game, Donald Duck intros the It's A Small World (Ducking Hardcore Mix) by yelling "SMELL MY FINGER BITCH"

what would we do without AI

A minor fright.

My favorite gas station customer is a funeral director who refuels the hearse every 3 months or so, and shows up in his little gentleman costume w/ nametag and everything. He always pays with a 1 foot tall Mario shaped plastic bank full of coins he spills for us to count.

Alot of bicyclists are fatphobic spandex clad middle age perverts who hate cars, but I'm not like the others!! I'm a spandex clad middle aged pervert who hates cars and thinks fat people are hot.

Weird they're showing Swan Lake on Fox right now

"Smell-O-Vision is innevitable" says smart genius CEO Billionare of Stenchlr. "The technology is nearing completion, and there is no putting the genie back in the bottle," he says, personally dipping a Blue Ray of Napoleon (2023) into liquefied horse corpse.

Now that I have a giant Ebike battery I finally have a public facing surface big enough for a bumper sticker. What should I draw Calvin pissing on

Endless. Deep breath. Anything is possible if we, as characters, have a passionate will!

Tileable commission for @firr.bsky.social .

I'm not going to say bad things about the FRED MEYER QFC KROGER FAMILY OF STORES until the strike is over but I'm also going to conspicuously refuse to say nice things.

I wonder if I signed up to stand around on my workplace's pride float, dressed sensibly, waving like the queen mum, if I could get workmen's comp for the instant ulcer.

Tileable commission for the whimsical & clever @nakattack.bsky.social!

The Mountainhead was pretty funny.

finding your people makes you realize there was nothing wrong with you

Happy pride! I'm bi. Wahoo!

Seeing alot of bls'keets about how you should tag your content with a pithy blockable keyword for each fetish it might activate. Do you want us to say like, #fat #old #FootHaver every time I appear in a photo as well, or are we just talking obliquely about how the the dang vores ruin property values