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nonotjeffallen.bsky.social
I mostly sell beer. I sometimes play music. I always am very tired.
2,729 posts 180 followers 286 following
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Posts 18 Comments 32

I have watched so many instagram videos of this mexican lady cooking in her yard that I am getting ads to become a brand ambassador for a bean company. The algorithm is working.

submitted 11 hours ago • 0 comments

First time listening to a Sleep Token sing all the way through. This is heavy music for Drake fans.

submitted 20 hours ago • 0 comments

The New York Times crossword spelled it "upsy" daisy and nope sorry calling bullshit on that one.

submitted 4 days ago • 1 comment

They don't tell you before having children about working on your car with a hallway nightlight in your mouth because you have a whole drawer full of dead flashlights. But they should.

submitted 6 days ago • 1 comment

In Tampa dropping the big kid off with wife's folks for a few weeks. I walk into the living room and grandma goes to the 3 year old, "Tell him, Archie!" "HAPPY MOTHERS DAY DADA!"

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

T Pain is from Tallahassee. I am from Tallahassee. We do not have Jack in the Box in Tallahassee. How disrespectful of my fellow man would it be to put this in my body tonight before a 5 hour flight tomorrow?

submitted 10 days ago • 1 comment

He's swam in the Pacific Ocean this week. He climbed on Mount Whitney. Traversed Death Valley. Seeing the Hoover Dam and Grand Canyon today. But I'm afraid nothing he experiences on this trip will rival the cake vending machine.

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

Travel day had the east coast 3 year old in freefall by 6pm. Had to get in the tub to get him in the tub and can't believe I waited until I was 41 years old to have a toddler kick me in the junk and go I HAVE THAT TOO!

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

Lone Pine, CA is amazing. It is 100° where I'm standing looking at snowcapped peaks. The Swiss Alps could never.

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

Hudson News didn't have anything that spoke to me. I didn't bring headphones. MCO - LAX. Aisle seat. Engage.

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

Held off mowing last weekend because we leave for a week tomorrow annnnnnd it rained every afternoon because Florida. So I mowed the lawn in a thunderstorm. Don't tell anybody because I hear that's real bad for the grass 🤫

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

I saw Yellowcard in Tallahassee in winter 2003. I was 20 years old. It has been more years since that concert happened than I had been alive at the time. And my brain will still visualize Madden 04 dropback drills when they play Way Away. Must remember to stretch properly before this one.

submitted 20 days ago • 0 comments

This is the best thing anybody has ever done with the internet. The weather presented in the way God meant for the weather to be consumed. Sound on for full effect.

submitted 20 days ago • 0 comments

Gets me every time Pscar wins. Did anybody else thing Waltzing Matilda was Australia's national anthem?

submitted 22 days ago • 0 comments

Picked up a shift tomorrow / wife took today off and is taking the kids to her folks for the weekend. Let's make poor life choices!

submitted 24 days ago • 0 comments

They brought a fucking armored personnel carrier to Tallahassee to raid a construction site. Show up to work in a company shirt and get ziptied in the back of bus. The venn diagram of "THEY'RE TAKING OUR JOBS!" people and "THEY'RE FREELOADING OUR GOVERNMENT BENEFITS" people is a single circle.

submitted 25 days ago • 0 comments

Remake Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade with Alan Ritchson in the lead and Patrick Warburton as Sean Connery. Or literally any movie where they can be giant square headed squinty father and son.

submitted 26 days ago • 0 comments

Did some company with my phone number get hacked again? The robots had been quiet for weeks but they're once again calling several times a day.

submitted 27 days ago • 1 comment