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orderforjordan.bsky.social
East Coast American Person with Internet Access and Opinions Posting for the Love of the Game
161 posts 14 followers 52 following
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Posts 34 Comments 16

My go to pick up line is “Have you always been that tall?”

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Thinking about a German master cook that I would call “Grand Chef Otto”

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

2 al pastor tacos please

submitted 7 days ago • 2 comments

Did it hurt? When you stubbed your toe?

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

The best moment to assess how you feel about where you live is drunk in an Uber on the way back home

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

Me flying over the desert: Lot going on down there. Probably none of my business

submitted 14 days ago • 3 comments

the headline factory called about you. i didn't listen to the message beyond that though

submitted 17 days ago • 14 comments

Virality is a mark of failure in my book. I don’t want to be an illness.

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

Surveying the misty harbor? Polishing the fresnel glass? Resigned to contemplative solitude? Comforted only by the sounds of the crashing sea? I’d be sure to make Ida Lewis proud… Could be the move

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

I hawk surrealism and non sequiturs in hopes of stealing a chuckle from a person traversing the realms of the internet

submitted 17 days ago • 1 comment

Gathered ‘round the scroll of parchment with my absolute boys. Quill moving fervently. Hats on point. Whole squad watching intently. No room for the fakes, you’re not about this life

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

You ever talk to someone married who is otherwise completely wonderful and think, “if I had to communicate with that human for the rest of my life I would rather be dead”?

submitted 17 days ago • 1 comment

Guy who posts the same bit too much:

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

Guy who has never known respect for women: I should write legislature in the United States House of Representatives

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

“That’s not funny” no but it did inflict psychic damage

submitted 20 days ago • 0 comments

I don’t care if my post is not good you had to read it to even have that opinion and that’s a win in my book

submitted 20 days ago • 0 comments

Guy desperately trying to save face: “C’mon man! I’ve never been better! Does this face look weary and downtrodden to you?” He said wearily and downtroddingly

submitted 20 days ago • 0 comments

Guy who just discovered acronyms: “Oh my god, in my humble opinion, I need to use these as soon as possible, by the way, are there more?” Me: “Buddy have I got some news for you”

submitted 20 days ago • 1 comment

“AI this, AI that… Let’s get back to what matters: ‘AYE AYE CAP’N!’” [A gang of swashbuckling deckhands breaks into a rowdy chorus of cheers, spilling pots of ale all over the weathered floorboards of the local saloon]

submitted 21 days ago • 1 comment

Ice cream is one of the best things to ever exist

submitted 21 days ago • 0 comments

my oldest child is doing a group project and he is so mad that one kid didn't help as much that he put his name in a slightly smaller font on the intro paper

submitted 25 days ago • 5 comments

Dude I just found myself behind the wheel of a large automobile

submitted 28 days ago • 0 comments

I went to buy a fire extinguisher and the smallest one they had was ONE HUNDRED US DOLLARS

submitted 28 days ago • 1 comment

I’m annoyed that the “is now arriving” got clipped from the MTA station announcements for the L. “The next Manhattan bound L… please stand away from the platform edge” feels wrong

submitted 29 days ago • 0 comments

Actually, I think it’s quite believable that it’s not butter

submitted 29 days ago • 0 comments

Inventing my own economy backed by something good and meaningful, like sandwiches

submitted 29 days ago • 0 comments

i love taking a few steps out into a crosswalk while the light is red like i’m trying to steal a base

submitted 30 days ago • 5 comments

New York is not rushing enough for my liking recently. People not moving all the way in while boarding the train and taking their sweet time getting off. MOVE!

submitted 34 days ago • 0 comments

We smokin on that shit that made the series of events unfortunate

submitted 38 days ago • 0 comments

so crazy all these moms have the same birthday. happy birthday to all the moms and such

submitted 41 days ago • 0 comments

This all feels like trying to brew coffee in the backseat of a car barreling down the freeway and the driver saying “you know what, we don’t need that back right tire” and shooting it right as you’re trying to carefully pour a cup

submitted 45 days ago • 1 comment

Instead of starting a Patreon to fund a podcast I’m THREATENING to start a podcast and as long as I have Patrons I will not proceed… you’ve been warned

submitted 51 days ago • 0 comments

lol so pollen is RAGGEDY and VIOLENT

submitted 52 days ago • 1 comment

Remember when you could say “there are a lot of cool things on the world wide web”

submitted 53 days ago • 0 comments