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pattonoswalt.bsky.social
Writing and yelling.
528 posts 653,233 followers 525 following
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There’s a Twitter account that just posts screenshots from BlueSky for them to yell at. Drama-addicted Complain Queens, all of ‘em.

Came to the edge of my building and saw the heart of Los Angeles march by. 💚❤💙💜💛 This right here is what makes my city great. Don't let the dictator or his cronies tell you different. #LosAngeles #NoKings #LittleTokyo #ArtsDistrict

Yesterday on Larchmont: weird dude all in yellow, and then his starfruit avatar on the side of a produce truck.

At the ICE raid and subsequent community resistance in Paramount, California this morning, this skater kid ate dozens of munitions from Border Patrol agents, walked away slowly and flipped them off.

good GOOD (this whole thread is stunning)

ha ha fuck you TODD

The second issue of our first ever crossover has been solicited! @archiecomics.bsky.social Vs Minor Threats #2 is on sale 9.17.25! YOU are not ready for the Redport Battle of The Bands!… but Barfly, Jughead AND Josie & The Pussycats certainly are! @darkhorse.com @pattonoswalt.bsky.social

Which one’s Joan and which one’s Bette?

Tent your fingers, Elon. TENT YOUR FINGERS.

Well said.

Not the same. NOT THE SAME

SOMEBODY BRING THESE BACK PLEASE

Someone should make a movie where a 1994 Geo Metro becomes a serial killer and use this hype video as the trailer.

they will have to Zamboni the shit off his grave

Today in L.A. felt SO FUCKING WEIRD. Weird weather, the sky was never the right color, the air felt like it’d been pumped in from a different dimension. Thunder but no lightning. 4pm felt like 9pm and sunset felt like dawn. An ominous day — felt like we’d all been lured into it.

Yep, that should do it.

In South Park, San Diego, US citizens stigmergically rose up against Trump’s Gestapo. The revolt erupted midday when ICE began rounding up people at a restaurant; patrons and passersby alike dropped everything to confront the regime storm troopers. #3E #EndImpunity #StopICE

The XXX-plorers must stop an anti-sex despot from ruining the universe--by taking him to the salad bar at Whole Foods? Secure your copy of MONEY SHOT BIG BANG #2! Cover art by @garthft.bsky.social #MoneyShotBigBang #VaultComics @hackintimseeley.bsky.social @pattonoswalt.bsky.social

Now they’re using tear gas & stun grenades on the crowds that witness their cowardly “raids.” They’re shit-scared. This is gonna lead to bystander deaths. Look at these zilches in their Judge Dredd cosplay. This is the happiest moment of their miserable, forgettable lives.

“What’s our target?” “Several dishwashers and a prep cook.” “Damn. We’re gonna need body armor, night vision scopes and stun grenades for this one.” “…wait…” “IF IT BLEEDS WE CAN KILL IT.”

I don’t think he was complaining. Just stating a fact.

being this fucking high in public has always been my nightmare

London was amazing! Thank you to everyone who came to our signings and panel. We had a great time at MCM London Comic Con 👏 Can’t wait to see you all at San Diego Comic Con! @blumjordan.bsky.social @pattonoswalt.bsky.social @darkhorse.com #mcmcomiccon #darkhorsecomics #mcmcomicconlondon #sdcc2025

Yes, Joni, we are all going to die. But it shouldn't be our SENATORS who are killing us.

Every scene I got to do with Jerry Stiller was gold. Reacting to him made me 100% better. And getting to watch him work made me 100% happy.

I have decided to become the Bukowski of the Gelson’s Wine Bar. Look for my new poem, “Wheat Thins,” dropping soon.

"Yes, Cuomo is awful, but I have some policy differences with the progressives, so this is hard." This is not hard. What you do is, you set aside your precious little checklist, and YOU DON'T VOTE FOR THE AWFUL PERSON.

THIS THIS THIS THIS

The man contained raging oceans.

Thank you @mcmcomiccon and everyone who stopped by this weekend in London! Had a blast meeting so many fans from across the pond. Cheers!

Monument Valley Navajo Tribal Park 😲😲😲, situated on the Arizona-Utah border in the southwestern United States, is a breathtaking landscape renowned for its iconic sandstone formations. Managed by the Navajo Nation, this park holds profound cultural and spiritual significance for the Navajo people.

(Jordan Peterson voice): “What does ‘supposed’ mean? What do you mean by ‘be’?”

“Without widespread theft, my industry can’t survive” is an argument against your industry surviving, and is not an argument for allowing widespread theft

Fave detail about the TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE video game is the cartridge features a cop (not in the movie, not in the game) who appears to be shooting at… the woman hanging from the meat hook?

No.

Yep!

One of the creepiest horror movies from the early 70s is being re-released on BluRay by @vinsyn.bsky.social!

omg i thought his name was Manager Slot Eyes

It really is hard to overstate how good the world building in Astro City is. Even re-reading the earlier trades for the fourth or fifth time, I’m struck by how smoothly Busiek sets up the mysteries surrounding each character, and how the answer never feels cheap, or like cheating.

"The story of lunch with Patton Oswalt begins with an email. You may remember Eddie Gorodetsky from previous episodes about lunches with Americans in London, but if not, a quick recap..."

Had lunch yesterday with Andrew Hickey, as smart, sweet, & fascinating a human that exists. (Content warning: Our lunch contained gluten, dairy, and graphic depictions of 2 chubby guys eating hamburgers & talking about Fleetwood Mac. If this may upset you, please read the transcript first.)"

4 years later, and our AC is still broken.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Ah, but you see, covering Biden means you can play act at being a hard nosed journalist without taking any risks or having to reflect on the morality of your own profession!

Can’t wait to see you all at MCM Comic Con this weekend, May 23-25! Stop by for photo ops, autographs, and more! 📚 Minor Threats Signing - Fri, May 23 (Near Artist Alley) 📸 Photo Ops & Autographs - Sat, May 24 & Sun, May 25 🎤 Patton Oswalt Spotlight Panel - Sun, May 25 at 1:00PM (Main Stage)

It’s hard to look this sharp daily.

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂