pattonoswalt.bsky.social - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

submitted 20 hours ago • 1 comment

Oh, you're doomscrolling current events? That's baby shit. I'm doomscrolling the events of 536. A volcano just erupted in Iceland. Snow just fell during the summer in China. Crops are failing. All of the crops are failing.

submitted 1 day ago • 116 comments

Uh…yeah. “Fox in the Fedora.” That guy does an EERILY perfect imitation of me. Which is weird ‘cuz it’s totally not me. A guy doing an impersonation. Yes.

submitted 1 day ago • 32 comments

We need a full cabinet removal. We need Gavin to bring in California Closets to redo the whole thing.

submitted 2 days ago • 34 comments

comicbook.com/comics/news/...

submitted 2 days ago • 4 comments

submitted 2 days ago • 79 comments

Holy shit Chuck Schumer just went OFF about Noem’s actions: “Are the Democrats weak & behind the times? Does Macy’s tell from Gimbels? I’ve written a terse letter and as soon as we mimeograph a million copies everyone’s gonna wake up tomorrow and find one rolled up in their milk delivery!”

submitted 2 days ago • 135 comments

Forgot to tag @thelaurenelyse.bsky.social on this one.

submitted 3 days ago • 27 comments

Bad week for troubled geniuses.

submitted 4 days ago • 53 comments

Straight from a Chaplin film from 1918.

submitted 4 days ago • 102 comments

submitted 14 days ago • 140 comments

When it’s time to throw in the towel.

submitted 4 days ago • 88 comments

unlike Vietnam or Afghanistan at least the Marines coming to.L.A. know exactly what this fight is all about

submitted 5 days ago • 591 comments

Back in 1992 I got James Ellroy to sign my copy of WHITE JAZZ and his inscription — “Fear the comedy of the patriarchy on the skids!” — is exactly what we’re experiencing right now. Frightened wanna-be alphas who are lashing out for the lulz.

submitted 5 days ago • 25 comments

Everything that’s happened over the past six months has been a response to an imaginary crisis. There is no immigrant invasion. No trade crisis. No scientific or governance crisis. Just people completely high off their own supply trying to fundamentally reorder society. None of this had to happen.

submitted 6 days ago • 898 comments

RIP Mara Corday. She’s in heaven now, pouring way too much sugar into a large, black to-go coffee.

submitted 6 days ago • 13 comments

I’m coming to Indiana! See you Friday, October 10th at Horseshoe Hammond Casino in Hammond, Indiana! Tickets are on sale this Friday, June 13th at 10:00am CST. Grab your tickets at the link in bio!

submitted 6 days ago • 17 comments

I mean, the “right side” of this one is so easy.

submitted 6 days ago • 87 comments

There’s a Twitter account that just posts screenshots from BlueSky for them to yell at. Drama-addicted Complain Queens, all of ‘em.

submitted 6 days ago • 60 comments

Came to the edge of my building and saw the heart of Los Angeles march by. 💚❤💙💜💛 This right here is what makes my city great. Don't let the dictator or his cronies tell you different. #LosAngeles #NoKings #LittleTokyo #ArtsDistrict

submitted 6 days ago • 69 comments

submitted 7 days ago • 613 comments

Yesterday on Larchmont: weird dude all in yellow, and then his starfruit avatar on the side of a produce truck.

submitted 7 days ago • 45 comments

At the ICE raid and subsequent community resistance in Paramount, California this morning, this skater kid ate dozens of munitions from Border Patrol agents, walked away slowly and flipped them off.

submitted 7 days ago • 1158 comments

good GOOD (this whole thread is stunning)

submitted 7 days ago • 112 comments

ha ha fuck you TODD

submitted 8 days ago • 328 comments

The second issue of our first ever crossover has been solicited! @archiecomics.bsky.social Vs Minor Threats #2 is on sale 9.17.25! YOU are not ready for the Redport Battle of The Bands!… but Barfly, Jughead AND Josie & The Pussycats certainly are! @darkhorse.com @pattonoswalt.bsky.social

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

Which one’s Joan and which one’s Bette?

submitted 9 days ago • 139 comments

Tent your fingers, Elon. TENT YOUR FINGERS.

submitted 10 days ago • 142 comments

Well said.

submitted 10 days ago • 49 comments

Not the same. NOT THE SAME

submitted 10 days ago • 38 comments

SOMEBODY BRING THESE BACK PLEASE

submitted 11 days ago • 372 comments

Someone should make a movie where a 1994 Geo Metro becomes a serial killer and use this hype video as the trailer.

submitted 11 days ago • 134 comments

they will have to Zamboni the shit off his grave

submitted 12 days ago • 82 comments

Today in L.A. felt SO FUCKING WEIRD. Weird weather, the sky was never the right color, the air felt like it’d been pumped in from a different dimension. Thunder but no lightning. 4pm felt like 9pm and sunset felt like dawn. An ominous day — felt like we’d all been lured into it.

submitted 11 days ago • 167 comments

Yep, that should do it.

submitted 11 days ago • 147 comments

In South Park, San Diego, US citizens stigmergically rose up against Trump’s Gestapo. The revolt erupted midday when ICE began rounding up people at a restaurant; patrons and passersby alike dropped everything to confront the regime storm troopers. #3E #EndImpunity #StopICE

submitted 12 days ago • 188 comments

The XXX-plorers must stop an anti-sex despot from ruining the universe--by taking him to the salad bar at Whole Foods? Secure your copy of MONEY SHOT BIG BANG #2! Cover art by @garthft.bsky.social #MoneyShotBigBang #VaultComics @hackintimseeley.bsky.social @pattonoswalt.bsky.social

submitted 13 days ago • 3 comments

Now they’re using tear gas & stun grenades on the crowds that witness their cowardly “raids.” They’re shit-scared. This is gonna lead to bystander deaths. Look at these zilches in their Judge Dredd cosplay. This is the happiest moment of their miserable, forgettable lives.

submitted 14 days ago • 135 comments

“What’s our target?” “Several dishwashers and a prep cook.” “Damn. We’re gonna need body armor, night vision scopes and stun grenades for this one.” “…wait…” “IF IT BLEEDS WE CAN KILL IT.”

submitted 14 days ago • 117 comments

I don’t think he was complaining. Just stating a fact.

submitted 14 days ago • 43 comments

being this fucking high in public has always been my nightmare

submitted 15 days ago • 89 comments

London was amazing! Thank you to everyone who came to our signings and panel. We had a great time at MCM London Comic Con 👏 Can’t wait to see you all at San Diego Comic Con! @blumjordan.bsky.social @pattonoswalt.bsky.social @darkhorse.com #mcmcomiccon #darkhorsecomics #mcmcomicconlondon #sdcc2025

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

Yes, Joni, we are all going to die. But it shouldn't be our SENATORS who are killing us.

submitted 16 days ago • 274 comments

Every scene I got to do with Jerry Stiller was gold. Reacting to him made me 100% better. And getting to watch him work made me 100% happy.

submitted 16 days ago • 88 comments

I have decided to become the Bukowski of the Gelson’s Wine Bar. Look for my new poem, “Wheat Thins,” dropping soon.

submitted 17 days ago • 63 comments

"Yes, Cuomo is awful, but I have some policy differences with the progressives, so this is hard." This is not hard. What you do is, you set aside your precious little checklist, and YOU DON'T VOTE FOR THE AWFUL PERSON.

submitted 18 days ago • 178 comments

THIS THIS THIS THIS

submitted 18 days ago • 53 comments

The man contained raging oceans.

submitted 18 days ago • 35 comments

Thank you @mcmcomiccon and everyone who stopped by this weekend in London! Had a blast meeting so many fans from across the pond. Cheers!

submitted 18 days ago • 21 comments