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pftompkins.bsky.social
TV & standup & improv & podcasts, hardly any movies paulftompkins.com/live
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Hahaha

cool graphs man. come down to my vault i have an amontillado i’d love for you to try

I stopped giving money to Dem candidates after Fetterman sold my personal info across who knows how many dark, blue, and red webs and I implore my fellow liberals to stop giving politicians more money and to start donating whatever you’ve got - money, food - to people in your immediate communities

Just sold Robert F. Kennedy Jr. an ounce of the gamy-smelling green pellets I feed my turtle for $1200. "Can you throw in some of the juice?" he asked. It took me a minute to realize that he meant some of the water from the tank. I filled a shot glass with it and he tipped me $100 in cash.

Seen this going around but I’m Reposting it with the full alt text bc everyone deserves to read this glorious reply from Boy George

"I had not touched a cat in 15 yrs when an orange kitten wandered over to sit w/me in the grass one day. I was left without adequate words to describe that experience. It reminded me that I am alive. It instilled in me a raw, unbridled happiness that I had never felt before, not even as a child."

New Yorkers scream out each officer’s lawsuits against them for excessive force and more upon their city, right to their faces while protesting.

Extreme same

We need to build some real social stigma around being afraid of cities. You don't have to like them or live there, but a politics built this strongly around watching TV and going "ewww" is embarrassing, and people should be embarrassed by it. It's like "fear of werewolves" being your top issue.

There are no riots here anywhere in LA, regardless of what Fox tells you And Monterey is 267 miles from here, lol

RIP Brian Wilson, Shortenin’ Bread’s #1 Fan

RIP to Brian Wilson, who gave us many perfect albums but also the perfect interview

VIDEO: ICE LEAVING Arcadia Hotel earlier today after protestors made noise for HOURS outside the hotel. No arrests were made, police likely inequipped due to DTLA curfew turmoil. IG: psl_losangeles

WATCH: “Holy f*ck — They literally just shot her point blank… I live here…” @lapdhq shoot a woman trying to get to her apartment at point blank range with a rubber bullet. Alexandria’s page (the woman who helps her): www.tiktok.com/@labyrinthlo...

We feed you. They hunt us.

We must protect our city’s Waymos in case they achieve sentience and are granted voting privileges

Everyone saw Grand Park's hot pink benches being stacked into a barricade on Sunday. What an exceptional statement from RIOS, the benches' designers instagram.com/rios.imagines "These pieces were designed to move, adapt, welcome, connect — and now protect"

No sleep for ICE tonight as activists found their hotel again. Hotel managers have to decide whether that GSA per diem money is worth having their hotel completely surrounded 24/7 by protesters.

Amazing how hard it is to write: “Police shoot at journalists.”

As faith leaders have a crowd take a knee and pray outside the federal building, DHS officers raise their weapons at priests and National Guard members lineup with riot shields against them tonight in downtown L.A.

It is 100% carrying water for the opposition to participate in this collective delusion that Dems for some reason need to answer for every teen who throws a rock rather than hold the Trump admin accountable for intentionally creating chaos and breaking the law to stoke violence. They are in charge.

me: in cheers frasier said his dad was dead but then when sam visited him in seattle he had to explain that he was lying because their relationship was strained but to me the weirder thing is he never mentioned niles to anyone at cheers the federal soldier being unlawfully quartered in my home: ok

Doo-dah Doo-dah

ICE will be ramping up its activity in Philadelphia, Seattle, NYC, Chicago, and Northern Virginia. Stay the fuck out of Philly!!

If you want proof that this place is not an echo chamber for the left try expecting more from the Democratic party, the party I have voted for all my life

Remember, when all of those members of the opposition party voted for all those insane cabinet nominees it was I who collaborated with the Republicans

Remember when you read about the predicament the dem signers found themselves in here that I am the one who is the moron and I’m also the one who happily chomped on bait

LAPD out there like

Protester shot in head by LA riot police using rubber bullets

Uh, Republicans control the house and senate, do you expect Democrats can just wave a magic wand and not praise ICE and advise people to help them

I'd *like* to be extremely concerned about the marines being deployed to an American city and the scientific committee that determines vaccine schedules being disbanded, but I'm gonna hold off until the Distraction Knowers give the okay

UPDATE: David Huerta was just released from custody!

My statement on the Menswear Guy: I’m a tiny bit enjoying that people are giving him a hard time because he never followed me back and it made me think he thought my style was bad That said I hope he doesn’t get deported