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pr0bh1gh.bsky.social
bonkered off the yoinky McLaren F1 fan (I swear I’m not one of the annoying ones)
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My boy just made me midnight nachos I’m a lucky man

grilled cheese tomato soup is there for me always

Why is everyone posting about pizza or is my discovery feed just busted

Filled with fear and trembling at the sight of one single (cooked) rigatoni in a urinal at the Secaucus Junction bathroom. Whatever this augurs will surely be powerful. I am grateful to have witnessed it.

DoorDash

I know I’m late but Kendrick’s new album is so good

Want to stop guests from coming over? Serve nothing but La Croix. They won’t return.

i will never produce anything of value and for just $5 a month, i can prove it to you

[at lunch] Me: [to waitress]: "I have a question about the menu please." Waitress: "The men I please are none of your business."

Fuck it, I say, as I dump the entire bag of pizza rolls on the baking sheet

What’s the most underrated Thanksgiving food? I will start. Whiskey.

i could go for a supervolcano right about now

“It's a boy!" -- Me, as I pass a cigar under the bathroom stall to the guy next to me

grilled cheese and tomato soup. like if u agree

They are cutting me open tomorrow to try and find out where the ticking noise is coming from

Every Walgreens has three guys decked out like it's the Iraq Surge and zero employees inside to unlock the deodorant encased in plexiglass

WHAT DO WE WANT? A better short-term memory. WHAT DO WE WANT?

Passing a law that the federal government only recognizes two genders: Godzilla and Mechagodzilla.

just got into the VIP section of the sewer, where all the high profile shits end up

I've been stealing shark blood and ingesting it so I can get more teeth than you

Pierre gasly in p3

Max and lando still somehow starting right next to each other after that q3

What is this bullshit nascar

filling out job apps b like "ever since i was a little girl, i dreamt of increasing shareholder value"

Not to mention… you know

I'm big ffagoot

I went to the movies tonight and DID NOT tell the concession worker “you too” after they told me to enjoy the movie. I’m unstoppable.