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rebrafsim.bsky.social
“jokes” header by Dave (Cactus) my best stuff: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:ofbhd4x65yjzuoh27ceq3n76/feed/aaab23k2b5q3a
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Posts 32 Comments 18

“WHO YOU CALLING A BUNCH OF PANSIES?!?”

submitted 11 hours ago • 320 comments

Three more pension cheques and I'll have my student loan paid off.

submitted 12 hours ago • 3 comments

I also know nothing about hurricanes can I get paid to run things

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

me: like eleanor roosevelt said, I try to to one thing every day that doesn’t scare me wife: no she said do one thing every day that DOES me: are you sure

submitted 1 day ago • 4 comments

“Dammit, Glen, you can do this. You’re good looking, smart and funny. She’ll love you. Just be you. And remember not to look at the candle.”

submitted 1 day ago • 3 comments

"Morning, Jim!" "Hey, Tom."

submitted 1 day ago • 283 comments

dear activist groups that somehow got my email: if you want me to esign your petition, please show me your petition. who is esigning shit they haven’t read? don’t do that

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

brian was starting to think that maybe his mom wasn’t coming back

submitted 4 days ago • 494 comments

“Everyone say cheese!” “Cheese!” “Cheese!” “Cheese!” “Cheese!” “Fuck you, Theresa.”

submitted 3 days ago • 34 comments

I also think we’re all gonna die can I get paid to run things

submitted 3 days ago • 4 comments

you gotta be faster

submitted 3 days ago • 127 comments

when you and your sibling have to pretend to like each other long enough for mom to take the picture

submitted 3 days ago • 33 comments

rock: oh fuck I’m covered with paper tell my wife I love her

submitted 335 days ago • 8 comments

*unleashes the kraken *the kraken runs off to play with the other krakens in the park

submitted 6 days ago • 5 comments

You don’t know what you’ve got til it’s gone. Except chlamydia, I knew I had that right away.

submitted 7 days ago • 6 comments

me: *on psychiatrist’s couch* psychiatrist: get out of my living room

submitted 6 days ago • 1 comment

“Can we go outside and play now?” “Soon, boy.” “You said that ten minutes ago.” “As soon as I finish my cof-“ “Oops.” “You did that on purpose.” “It slipped.” “I’ll get my coat.” “Excellent.”

submitted 6 days ago • 485 comments

“You drive, I’m tired.”

submitted 6 days ago • 56 comments

mulder: the truth is out there america: oh fuck where is it on me kill it now did you kill it

submitted 6 days ago • 1 comment

25 of the funniest posts we’ve seen on Bluesky this week. www.thepoke.com/2025/05/28/2...

submitted 6 days ago • 2 comments

[Clown School] Teacher: Oh very well done..That nose..Those shoes..The suit..Hilarious Me: i just came to pick up my son

submitted 7 days ago • 9 comments

[crime scene] partner: there are two kinds of bullets but only one set of footprints me: *whispering* jesus partner: oh shit, jesus

submitted 695 days ago • 7 comments

tai chi is short for taiwanese chicken

submitted 7 days ago • 15 comments

me: *on walkie-talkie* toblerone to toblertwo, come in toblertwo wife: *from the couch* yeah I’m not fucking doing that

submitted 7 days ago • 3 comments

lightning struck right outside my window and I realized I'm not afraid of dying I just don't want it to be loud

submitted 8 days ago • 36 comments

woegurt

submitted 19 days ago • 325 comments

real estate agent: so, what do you think? lady who's sure all that glitters is gold: frankly, i’m a little disappointed

submitted 7 days ago • 136 comments

cw: what are you doing? me: speedwalking cw: you’re standing in the middle of the hallway me: zero is a number, kevin

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

Based on my experiences to date, being right about everything has no measurable benefits.

submitted 7 days ago • 77 comments

her: I love you more than ever me: WHO THE FUCK IS EVER

submitted 8 days ago • 3 comments

He stares up at the sign, tears streaming. Arthur “Pantless” Jackson smiles. The search has taken him 10 years and to 14 countries. He opens the door. The clerk looks up from his phone. “Can I help you?” he asks. “Yes,” says Arthur, “I’m Jackson, and I believe you have my pants.”

submitted 9 days ago • 16 comments

Don’t let hippos sniff mopeds Or a deer chew your bike Hide big wheels from gators They know what they like Geese love to rub rowboats Ducks will tickle your van Rabbits snuggle with tractors Whenever they can Squirrels smooch skateboards If a door’s left ajar And whatever you do

submitted 9 days ago • 77 comments