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rem.bsjky.team
{ rem (the postes) 30 or 40 years old; it/they/we https://ko-fi.com/postes    ­        welcome to postes }
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I miss murder hornets

🌿 yeee 🌿

sapphic sunday inks

istt hat time of day agian

presently snortign methamphetamine off mgk’s boner in what is essentially a modern day winona ryder shoplifting situation

wehn people try to make fun of me for my pinned poste its very funny. oh no yuo got me, im so embarrassed

oh yuo want us to do something?? anything???? well have yuo considered we dont have the votes

As authors we don't owe anyone client privilege unless you've signed an NDA or something but the emails we get with all the ideas random strangers want us to write for them certainly feels like a thing that you owe confidentiality on, but some of these are so wild it hurts to keep em under wraps

I gave you my star wars ewok orgy fanfic in confidence sir

posting here simulates being a travelling Reformation era preacher, you keep trying to share the word of God and get querulous pox-ridden townsfolk trying to factcheck you

why is everyone annoying now

ずっと一緒に寝てた

Side note: remember when people were making fun of jd Vance for fucking a couch and some users were out here like “that’s kinda inconsiderate to people who actually have sex with furniture,” and then a bunch of couch fuckers were like “nah it’s cool get his ass”

really sums up the media’s coverage of the Trump presidency

Remember When The Victorians Would Crush Up Human Mummies And Snort Them Like Medicine I Think That's Kind Of Like What Reading Posts Is Like

Donald Trump just unilaterally bombed Iran. A masked gang is terrorizing our streets. America has rapidly devolved into an authoritarian state. That's why, today, The Onion has purchased a full page ad in today's New York Times with a simple plea to Congress: Sit back and do absolutely nothing.

wow nintendo is taking this anti-piracy shit way too far. it's MY console I should be able to do what I want with it!!1!

thinking about how "bipartisanship" really only works when its bipartisanly held

okay idk which to get, the traditional style eagle with the pride flag, or the opossum with the knife?

need dick from a girl who blooms. not like a flower, but like an algae. whose countless bodies feed on the runoff of a world that has swallowed itself. whose countless bodies poison the water I swim in. clogging my gills. blocking the light. need to choke on someone who was always there, waiting

World War 3 kinda sucks, but you know, it was either this or pronouns

I can hear them I hope everyone else has to too

gambling is a totally natural human behavior so is dying of radiation poisoning

my most millennial take is that the gods bleed caustic ichor which poisons all that it touches. which means all you need to do is get them in a room together. and kill one. then wait for the arterial spray, to end the rest

oh yuo want us to do something?? anything???? well have yuo considered we dont have the votes

the britney spears song “oops i did it again” is actually a searing indictment of american foreign policy… the more you know!!!

EXCLUSIVE — The Onion has a full-page ad in today’s NYT featuring part of an editorial calling out congressional fecklessness towards Trump. They also sent a copy of their latest issue to every lawmaker. My report, with an excerpt from the full editorial: www.thehandbasket.co/p/exclusive-...

We were very happy to give this scoop to @marisakabas.bsky.social's The Handbasket because it is important to support independent journalists who are doing the hard work at this time. Giving this story to Marisa also guarantees it will be in The Washington Post verbatim exactly 48 hours later.

the administration don’t think the budget bill or the iran bombing will be popular. they don’t really have a plan for becoming popular again. it might not be possible. this is just them doing the things they wanted to do, while they can

I’m a good candidate for a pretend online relationship because I am ✨emotionally unavailable✨

If anythings proves the existence of God, it's that he put us exactly 1 AU from the sun. That kind of thing doesn't happen by accident!

you actually don't even need to put in 10000 hours to be good at something. you do need to get enough sleep though

this is all happening because we bullied vance on here

climbing into the hibernation tamale

At age seven, my daughter can unlock my phone with her face. I think it’s cool that we look alike, but I hate that it only works when she frowns.

god i hope they haven't given him the real football

Don’t take your eye off the ball. The attack on Iran is meant to distract you from the proposed changes to tax credits for soybean farms