rymdolov.bsky.social - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

i wish my eyes turned into cartoon spirals when i'm dissociating

submitted 5 days ago • 25 comments

i don't want to do anything untoward with grimace, from the mcdonald's franchise. my sexuality is the kind where i like human people

submitted 4 days ago • 9 comments

Whenever a girl was breaking up with me, my move was to say, "look me in the eyes and tell me you don't love me." Just a terrible, terrible idea. "Wow Tina... that's... hoo-boy. I need a breather. You didn't have to smile when you said it."

submitted 9 days ago • 2 comments

i tried letting people enjoy things but then they enjoyed stupid things so i went back to having standards

submitted 4 days ago • 4 comments

[meeting Bluesky friend irl] So your name isn’t Dingledong?

submitted 186 days ago • 1 comment

I smashed that like button, just like you said. It’s broken now. No more likes for anyone.

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

Sam Altman isn't keen on you reading my book. EMPIRE OF AI is based on 300+ interviews, 7 yrs covering AI, and my time as the first reporter who got extensive access to OpenAI. I sought OpenAI's perspective throughout. For months they said it was coming. It never did. Pre-order here: empireofai.com.

submitted 54 days ago • 25 comments

In case you didn't know - Eurovision is the name of the network. The contest is called Eurovision's Monster.

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

[yelling over club music] I said grief is a rain that falls on everything

submitted 11 days ago • 12 comments

youre damn straight youre recording my call for quality and training purposes im the guy youve all been warned about lets do this

submitted 29 days ago • 2 comments

[me pumping myself up each Wednesday morning] You've got this. You can do it. You can be completely, totally adequate today.

submitted 175 days ago • 2 comments

CONSERVATIVES: trans people should be only identified by their gender given at birth ALSO CONSERVATIVES: MY G.I. JOE IS NOT A DOLL, IT IS AN ACTION FIGURE

submitted 14 days ago • 2 comments

Oh wrestling is fake? Then explain this

submitted 17 days ago • 148 comments

me: I want to have sex with you her: let's wait til we're married priest: yes, can we get on with the ceremony please

submitted 18 days ago • 2 comments

Conan was always doing shit like this in Robert E. Howard's stories. Wandering through a forest and discovering a city built 500,000 years ago, made of strange stone. Don't go in there Conan, there's gonna be a snake god

submitted 18 days ago • 5 comments

Of course you can! That's how you know that you need more books!

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

I don’t understand why you’re single. Those were such interesting stories about your ex.

submitted 18 days ago • 2 comments

Sorry, but if you call my password weak I'm not going to tell you where the traffic lights are

submitted 22 days ago • 0 comments

[David Attenborough watching me trying to chase down an ice cream truck in my flip flops] Astounding.

submitted 34 days ago • 7 comments

(finding out my recent coronation as King of Moldova was part of a high-concept reality tv series) oh jeez, haha, you got me. guards, seize them! haha, just kidding. "a title for the first soldier to bring me that producer's head!" just a joke. just a little joke from your king

submitted 194 days ago • 2 comments

Are there so many famous Attilas out there that we need to keep specifying that we’re referring to “the Hun”

submitted 36 days ago • 0 comments

unfollowing everyone on linkedin except this guy

submitted 35 days ago • 729 comments

ROBERT F. KENNEDY: [rises from the grave] oh hey, my son Robert Jr is being talked about a lot, let’s see why oh what the f

submitted 35 days ago • 2 comments

It occurs to me that we are the million monkeys on the million typewriters

submitted 43 days ago • 9 comments

‘I’m not going to argue with you’, I argue.

submitted 40 days ago • 5 comments

Scientists say a lot of things but never in a kazoo, never in a harmonica. Once did they fail at these and twice did they then realize how little they knew of the simple act of breathing or stamina or practicing for a kiss under guise of a hootenanny

submitted 40 days ago • 3 comments

"death" seems pretty harsh

submitted 43 days ago • 14 comments

investing a lot of time and effort in the new aesthetic i'm promoting, Rodeo Goth

submitted 118 days ago • 5 comments

GALADRIEL: (glowing green) In place of a hard roll, I would have whole wheat—beautiful and terrible to behold! DELI GUY: #3 on wheat. G: (coyly) You offer it to me freely. DG: No, Galadriel. You have to pay. Every day with this

submitted 591 days ago • 24 comments

basically the way posting works is every one is a little ape in a cage. when you reply to someone's post it's like you're rattling the bars of their cage and they start hooting back

submitted 51 days ago • 73 comments

Someone who does a good Putin impersonation, call up the White House and tell him to stop with all the tariffs

submitted 54 days ago • 145 comments

sending my boss a heartfelt email every saturday morning to thank them for inventing the weekend

submitted 53 days ago • 12 comments

a heist movie but instead of stealing anything i just sneak into wherever the large hadron collider is and bop it with a wrench until we end up in a timeline that isn’t so fucking stupid

submitted 55 days ago • 61 comments

Guy who fires 70,000 people, starves dying children and steals money from veterans and seniors: why is everyone being mean to me

submitted 59 days ago • 9 comments

They say you should get out of bed each day and do one thing that scares you, which I already do: I get out of bed.

submitted 59 days ago • 1 comment

For some reason, more than once, my skeets have been compared to those by Gerry "Bad Jokes" Johnson.

submitted 66 days ago • 2 comments

My therapist and I saw each other at the grocery store and pretended not to know each other. Next week’s session writes itself.

submitted 64 days ago • 8 comments

Jag vill inte ha en remake på Saltkråkan, jag vill ha en prequel till Karlsson på Taket där man får veta under vilka omänskliga former han får propellern

submitted 60 days ago • 9 comments

I got excited cuz I thought a pretty girl was waving at me, but she was waving at the raccoon beside me who was also eating out of this dumpster.

submitted 60 days ago • 5 comments

rigging my casket to play the MST3K theme when it's opened so the grave robbers know I was down

submitted 63 days ago • 9 comments

every night there's a little girl on the subway sitting beside a blood-soaked wicker basket. she charges $10 to let you climb in the basket; no one ever comes back out and none of the subway crew will admit to seeing her. anyway can I borrow $10

submitted 166 days ago • 1 comment

alien bursts through my chest alien looks around *alien gets back in my chest

submitted 63 days ago • 6 comments

The mugger has taken my wallet, raising questions about his respect for property rights

submitted 68 days ago • 40 comments