senskeepai.bsky.social
writing, art making, anti-censorship Fandom Old - gaming, anime, books, TV, etc. love it all - problematic and nsfw content - they/them - queer - exhausted
1,364 posts
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I don't know what to do with myself. Lmao fuck.
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I want to be writing but after all that time recovering from burnout, to start gaining momentum, it's all ground to a halt.
My feelings of self worth have plummeted. I need to just sleep it off maybe. I dunno.
I can't believe how easy it is to just be in this Bad Place again. It's awful.
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Disability is Part of my Definition, but disability does not define me.
And that's just what I need personally. It's getting easier.
And it started with numbers getting knocked out of my skull.
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Saying "Yeah I can't do that" and expressing what adjustments other people should make in their expectations for me doesn't need to come with a heavy dose of shame or embarrassment. I'm just different. God Nerfed Me. I'm still cool and funny and a worthwhile person. I'm trying to look at it like...
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No moral value has been a long journey for me and one I still struggle with. But being able to announce "Yeah I can't do math but I forget that sometimes so don't trust my numbers" with nonchalance or confidence or a sense of humor is something I'm trying to apply to all my disabilities.
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Twice, sometimes three times as long to solve a simple math problem than the people around me. And that used to be a point of embarrassment for me but we are UNLEARNING SHAME in this house.
I am disabled in a variety of ways and that's just a fact of life. Coming to accept them as traits that hold
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Ask the people around me "What's 18 + 3" and let them do it for me, rather than fear looking stupid because I just can't do that like I used to. But I remember being able to once.
I have slowly been able to figure out workarounds via memorization and different kinds of visualization but it takes me
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And subtraction but some part of my subconscious has still not accepted this which leads to me very frequently doing math Confidently Wrong all the fucking time.
I count on my fingers a lot these days and when saying D&D I just had to come to a place of acceptance that it was simpler and faster to
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But I used to actually be very very good at math and the reflex has not waned despite the fact that I can't read or distinguish numbers like I used to at all. There was a time I did math in my head for fun. Long division and multiplication. Now uh. Now I can't reliable do simple addition
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I will happily accept that blame.
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HIMMMM!!!!
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I am going feral over this concept and your art this is. So so good. The implications of trust are. Everythinggggg.
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The Shape has Preferences.
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It is. Just. That casual comfortable lean of Lucanis' is everything to me.
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THEM!! also yes. Jun is very pretty.
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I love it ;w; my heart
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Clearly. My years of excess have finally caught up with me.
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I dunno man. Getting older is weird.
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My discovery and love of DA was also the first domino in a chain reaction that led to me finding my best friend, without whom I would not be where I am today. These games were instrumental in changing my life.