shawncarlow.bsky.social - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

When your cat's a master of disguise.

submitted 14 hours ago • 187 comments

at least he didn't do something truly reckless like try to forgive student loans

submitted 9 hours ago • 79 comments

It’d be great if they exhumed an ancient Egyptian mummy and next to him were buried two crime investigators still holding their files, and it was 2500 year old cold case.

submitted 9 hours ago • 0 comments

I’m not sure whether Britons have ever really gotten over D-Lexit (Daniel Day-Lewis's exit from acting).

submitted 17 hours ago • 0 comments

RFK Jr. with his uncle and the large container of conspiracy water that he was instructed never to drink.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

I’m in Italy and the table next to me ordered a Caesar salad. The waiter asked if he wanted it “with the pineapple or the fried egg”. I’m getting dessert just to see how this plays out

submitted 5 days ago • 7 comments

I am forced to admit that my emotional support tyrannosaurus bones are making it very difficult for these flight attendants to do their jobs.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Played some Bingo recently. Wow, I did not have that on my Bingo card for 2025.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

All the homies are trying to discover the underlying pattern that gives order to chaos

submitted 6 days ago • 13 comments

Instead of screaming into the void, I'm going to ask it for recipes.

submitted 3 days ago • 12 comments

I’ve just opened up a deep web site where I sell off-season Shamrock Shakes and egg nog. Get ready for danger.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

"This is all a distraction" ...he pontificated into his ever-present preoccupation device about events he only sorta paid attention to

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

Saw my first Cirque du Soleil show this weekend. Was not prepared for all the blood.

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

some people are like that last little bit of stick deodorant that scrapes your armpits and then falls out onto the floor and gets covered in hair

submitted 4 days ago • 14 comments

It turns out I can only afford "health assurance". Instead of a doctor, I go to a guy who says "Don't worry, you'll be fine!"

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

I get the streamlining but shouldn't it be Hamburger Burglar? Otherwise it just seems like he's primarily active in ham theft.

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

One time a guy pruning trees told me wasps sting you in your pores and if you hold your breath, your pores close and they can't sting you

submitted 5 days ago • 46 comments

Colgate University is actually named for the Colgate family (of Colgate toothpaste fame) Surprisingly, such is not the case with Aquafresh Seminary College.

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

my grandpa was illiterate so i have no idea if this ouija board is working or not

submitted 8 days ago • 21 comments

I’ll never understand why Battery Park is in New York City and not Philadelphia.

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

Still hard to believe that until 1967, the US hadn't codified interracial marriage, and it was only allowed in certain states. Now the number of interracial marriages in the US is around 15%. Also the name of the couple that changed all of that was the Lovings. Thanks, Lovings! Happy Loving Day!

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

"You can't make an omelette without breaking a few lightbulbs." - The world's worst preparer of omelettes.

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 12 days ago • 1 comment

I don’t even believe we traveled from the (flat) Earth to the (flat) Moon. It was all done with tricks by Flat Stanley (Kubrick).

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

Intel's office in England manufactures computer crisps.

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

mixing things up by yodeling into the void

submitted 15 days ago • 11 comments

Manchester, NH: Go see your local champion Shawn Carlow at Bookery on Saturday, June 7 at 4 p.m. as he reads from and discusses his historically hilarious story collection PEOPLE OF THE TITANIC @shawncarlow.bsky.social www.eventbrite.com/e/author-eve...

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

My Forever 101 clothing store is doing a very brisk business in Japan.

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

if i walked in on uncle joe doing the hand jive with my sister i'd sic the doberman on him

submitted 18 days ago • 1 comment

I’ve had it with my car insurance company. Also, I could use a new brushed nickel LED ceiling light. Oh, and, um, there’s a dead body in my guest bedroom. Anyone used Spencer’s Crematorium, Light Fixtures, and Car Insurance before?

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

I went through the beaded curtain at the back of the Criterion Closet and chose several of the porn versions of Criterion films.

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

JOHN LENNON: lucy in the sky with diamonds ME: god damn it, john. have you not played Clue before??

submitted 21 days ago • 6 comments

“My Spider-sense, it’s tingling.”

submitted 21 days ago • 0 comments

I fell yesterday and yelled, "Now I have to start over!" No one understood I meant the safety sign in my head that has been reset to zero days since my last accident

submitted 21 days ago • 26 comments

We can put a man on the Moon, but we can't put a hat on it? The Moon would look good in a hat

submitted 22 days ago • 20 comments