slappyj5.bsky.social
Girl Dad š§Soccer Dad ā½ļø Dog Dad š¶Reluctant Grownup š¤·š»āāļø Woke yet usually tired š³ļøāšš³ļøāā§ļø Eventual Sci-fi Author š½ Sports Lunatic ššā³ļøā¾ļø Trying to get in touch w my Emojions ššš„ŗš¤¬š¤¢ Sober 5ļøā£ yrs and counting š¤
518 posts
3,502 followers
3,020 following
Getting Started
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Leans forward to adjust the pile in his diaper.
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(Sent with that unique accent from White Lotusā¦)
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What is āThe Boys, Mr. Homelanderā
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You should have the shaft shortened.
ā¬ļø ā¬ļø THINGS NO ONE HAS EVER SAID ā¬ļø ā¬ļø
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My š¶ bud licks my face for 15-20 mins if I come home sweaty from a ā½ļø game then passes out on top of me. Heās 100lbs.
Itās.
Normal.
Donāt judge us.
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To be fair, āa few monthsā feels like FOREVER in the current state of the world š¤·š»āāļø
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Can we sign up for like a softball league or something as a gang? Iāll coach!
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We will have to make a choice between āCripps Ahoyā or āNutter Blood-terā as the gang cookie. (Canāt have both though!)
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ā¤ļø ā¤ļøā¦ but letās go Red Bulls!!
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Iāve sadly realized that itās always been this way.
They are all just emboldened to say it and act it out loud now.
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Life imitating AdveRTising
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We are here:
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They can Uberpool their $ together to get her a Lyft
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If you havenāt either texted your boss to complain about them OR texted war plans to a reporter are you even texting correctly?
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We did it (again)!!
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We did it!! If it wasnāt official before, it really is now.
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I bet the protesters get dispersed forcefully at every dealership/service spot ā¦ like at the church in DC so man baby could get his upside down bible photo op.
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Dogs also hate poli-ticks
(Iām a dad. I canāt stop myselfā¦)
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Can you please list the shows???
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Have they all said thank you yet??
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Right back at ya!
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Thanks! I couldnāt figure out where all my new friends came from in the last hour!
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YES
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Iām gonna thank them.
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āGrannyā - Dave Matthewās Band
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āIt was a good dayā - Ice Cube
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āMellon Calliou and the Infinite Sadnessā
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Some of them also get really snowflakey when no woman will choose them because of their awful beliefs and horrendous expectations. Then they blame the world instead of looking in a mirror.
#girlsruleboysdrool
#girldad
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āAbout being bornā
That blew my mind when I found that out! š¤Æ
āThis womb wonāt be openā¦ā
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I see what you did there @jcsalterego.bsky.social
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If I was single I would choose mate outside of my species over date a Tesla owner.
**To be clear Iād date outside my species in a Captain Kirk kind of way**
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Iām a dad so itās my job in my house.
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AND heās a Knick fan!!
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Classic Trump move. A twist on the Tariffs on/Tariffs off majesty.
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My dog just barked at me reading the words ātelevision doorbellā.
I didnāt read out loud.
wtf
š¶
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Good point. I get scolded for moving the heated blanket off the bed when sheās not around.
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The problem is Iām in the movie.
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If itās a heated blanket you and my wife would be pals.
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JFC how can you stand living there?
Iām a Long Islander living in NJ. I canāt believe how culty the island is. It makes no sense.
Be safe JC!