soquiet.bsky.social
"There's old Nick! I haven't seen him in a minute! Oh God, what happened to him?"
136 posts
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293 following
Getting Started
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You see, he's just like Sonic, but he's afraid of water, so he wears a snorkel. Get it? I'll tell you what, I'll just post a pic. Khamenei gonna post a real low res one if I don't.
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You mean the Epstein files, the piss tape, and the gif of my OP Sonic character "Snorkle" I drew in middle school?
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Funny, my daughter is named Kidneigh, too. It's also her middle name. We don't call her by her middle name though. She only needs one
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*in an extreme Freud voice* "You zee, zee penis is zee source of awethority. It penetrates zee folds of knowledge."
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"The whole world is a classroom and every authority figure a teacher," he explains to the audience, in monologue.
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Well, you see, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much and assassinate someone in power, they get in big trouble. But when mommy and daddy make a "whoopsy daisy" with someone not in power, well, media goes out of its way to explain that it was probably a simple mistake and not a big deal.
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Nintendo: We have the meats!
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That's how I order my club sandwiches. And my ladies.
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I'm driving that shit on legendary! Three skulls active!
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Man, then you discover the very best dog butthole joke, and you laugh and laugh, and share it with a loved one and they look you straight in the eye and say, "Is that how you see our dog?" Then, it's a fight. You break up. And then you have to explain to your young children why dog butts are funny.
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The sorting hat screamed, "Class Clown" as we slid from our mother's womb. Why she wore a hat during child birth? It was a fetish.
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Whoa, hold up! If you dominate too hard, they'll just turn it into a pickle ball court. Then you'll have to battle the meanest Boomer polycule in the hood to regain control.
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So, bad news about that...
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May the air fryer stay hot, and the tap water stay cold.
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We are all gonna starve... because America could never figure out how to ethically replace slaves.
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Imma go out on a limb and say none of these guys reaching the middle.
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Whatever mom
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But i want to believe in a hypothetical Pam Wechete that I can upset by. Instead of my mom.
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My wife one time called turkey meatballs "gobbler balls". It was funny but lost on the kids.
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Love is the final adventure. No, wait, death by exposure is the final adventure.
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Dude, let's connect enemy behavior to ChatGPT! While they write an email to my school board or pretend to be my girlfriend, I can just walk past them. Ultimate stealth!
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They are gonna kill you and steal your family, but at least you won't *checks notes* experience traffic.
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Ah, but what are they doing with those taxes? It kinda seems like we are paying our own executioners.
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They are gonna keep inventing crimes until you can't pick up a brick. You have time to pick your crime, for now, but we are "violent thugs" for marching with signs already. Even MLK spent time in prison.
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*puts away guillotine, gets out bee keeping suit* You guys! I have the best idea!
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Look, she too is preparing for your Cuomo mayorship.
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Brick (through their window) by brick (at them when they go check out their broken ass window, chump).
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Oh friend, the "freelance hegemony enforcer" has been around forever. The "anti-intellectual nerd" is just that plus consumerism in lieu of religion.
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I love that modern marriage is a well thought out escalation of brinksmanship. A game of chicken, for lovers.
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Nope, she authentic loves it because we are financially codependent and has no choice. Now, my small children don't yet understand my genius, but if I withhold food for a bit, they'll come around.
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Use someone else's personality! I switch to "Southern Lawyer" from 10am to 2pm. "AH-nold" till 6, then finish the evening with the delicate nuance of Billy Bob Thornton's performance of Slingblade. My wife loves it!
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Let us be clear, ladies, if this is subtweeting known sexual harasser Cuomo, he is not talking scorpions.
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Call it Wilson. Occationally ask it advice about parenting and marriage. Pretend to listen for a moment and then grunt in appreciation.
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I have some graphic design notes...
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Fuck, I needed a dumb chuckle right now. Thanks!
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I'm dissociating at the KFC,
Gonna get strips for you and me,
Tators and gravy by the ladle,
Gonna drive into the sea later.
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Awww... now I remember. Poop.
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I was behind Patrick Warburton in line for coffee, NYC, wanna say spring of '01?
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And that school shootings are the price of freedom. Those blown apart kids at Sandy Hook were good, actually.
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Great. Have Square hand them the unfinished Deus Ex that got cancelled.
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Shoulda hired some guys outside of Home Depot to build a better wall.
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Lucky, mine is always a pic of a cyst or my baldspot. Something I sent to my doc, or my wife, if I was trying to get them all hot and bothered.
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This is such a bare minimum. If these guys believed the New Testament for a second, we'd have a wall of nuns around every protest. Make the gestapo beat through a line of priests to get to protesters. Get teams of Brothers escorting immigrant families into court every day of the week.
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A "suicide". The older neighborhood kid that taught us that ironically died a few years later to suicide, according to his parents. We knew it had been a rough wank gone sideways though, because he always bragged about his "special method". Ah, memories.
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Fucking anarchists, always jamming the conference room's copier. You can't photocopy all black pages, Jamie!