squatch-facts.bsky.social
Giving you information on our favorite cryptid.
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Squatches love Twin Peaks. Filmed in their backyard!
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Squatches are actually taught how to masturbate by chipmunks.
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Sex involving Squatches is known as a musk.
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I can set you up with some real nice Squatchettes! Don’t expect it to be shaved down there though.
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That is a favorite swimming hole for Squatches.
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Trust me they smell better than Squatches.
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If you get one with a Squatch on it, then it’s good luck!
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Good point. Squatches will use a variety of methods to thaw their turkey, the best method is to dry hump it for a couple hours.
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A Squatches favorite Johnny Cash song is “I’ve Been Everywhere” as they travel a lot as well.
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I’ve kissed many Squatchettes. They are not fond of the French kiss though.
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Very Squatchy for sure!
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Sesame goes for Bigfoot researchers. All that grant money for them to not even find Ol Squatchy. I’ve been hanging out with Squatches for years!
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All that work, when they could have just used rabbit fur.
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Nothing like a nice still body of water. Got to enjoy before the Squatches start jumping in.
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No, but I have hunted cougars with Squatches. Usually find them at the nearest dive bars.
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Is there a Squatch Nebula?
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That will definitely be attracting Squatches. They love some good meat and that looks delicious.
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Squatches are great at munching bush. A Squatchettes pleasure moan can be heard from 1.34 miles away.
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Squatches will watch movies from time to time. They climb up trees and watch them at drive-ins.
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Squatches communicate with owls at night to help them navigate the forests. Sometime the owls lie and make the squatches fall down steep hills.
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Squatches don’t care about stretch marks either. They smash anything.
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Frozen are the best, but can only do that in the winter. In the warmer months they smash them into a nice creamy guac with sprinkle of paprika.
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Squatches use avocados on their hemorrhoids.
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Great swimming hole for Squatches.
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Squatches like to jump in hot ponds on a cool day.
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Great photo, Squatches love Pennsylvania shrooms. Gets them high as shit.
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I once was taken in by Squatchette who wouldn’t let me leave. Was able to escape as she couldn’t tie a knot worth a shit.
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Yea, but have you seen a Croatian Blue Squatch?
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That’s a Squatches dream climbing tree.
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Squatches start looking like this at age 4.
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This is why Squatches filter their milk through beaver fur and acorns.
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If Squatches aren’t feeling well, the will rub squirrels on their private parts and if the squirrel pukes they are sick.
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If you do be on the look out for Squatches. Don’t want to hit one.
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Squatches don’t fall in love, they just get their fuck on!
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Squatches will often times kiss on siblings as well. Because they are horny little shits.