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tastes-like-static.bsky.social
And well he might look, for Tom was swelling and Tom was staring, and at last Tom shrieked out, “What—old Tim dead! then I’m the King o’ the Cats!” and rushed up the chimney and was never more seen. 🔞 Potentially not safe for work.
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All of this haremslop exists but nobody can write me a fantasy adventure romance featuring a bisexual ménage à trois or something?? Come on

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

I've been doing some research (important!!) into these tiny bumblebees I find on the same bush every year. Apparently, the queen in this species doesn't use pheromones to control her workers - she simply picks out the most dominant worker and headbutts it into submission. Powerful energy

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

Googling "how to stop gremlins from sneaking into your room and sticking pins in all your joints whilst you sleep" oouugh

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

NECROMANCY Monthly Ten Tips for Skeleton Assembly Vampires: Are they Worth the Hassle? Fall of a Kingdon - Exclusive Interview with Malthavius the Dread! PLUS: Graverobbing for Beginners - Our Handheld Guide Inside

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

light leaks out around the edges

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

vampire moth gf... you can watch her suck up your blood through her proboscis like a straw (ssschchlrp)

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

idk why I keep drifting into a different tense when I'm writing w/out noticing it. some severe brain problems going on here

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

What if you were a witch hunter, but every time you found the witch she snipped a bit of you off and replaced it with doll then snipped the memory off so that you wouldn't remember it happening

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

Really feeling like my true self is being stifled by this wretched puppet of meat and bone today ngl

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

Fix me (with a hammer)

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

no, listen, it's not that I don't trust you. it's just- look, don't you think that this contract is... weirdly specific? all this stuff about "potential cognitive impairment" and giving you power of attorney, it- ... are you crying? look, I'm not getting at YOU, it's the-

submitted 13 days ago • 1 comment

You're not going to believe this but this one had a bad ending too

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

omw to read my 15th mechsploitation fic clearly labelled as "bad end". I will nevertheless manage to think "maybe this time... this time will be different" the whole way through

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

nun and her pet succubus

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

can't believe sartha has been humping handler's boots for two whole years now god bless

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

when I die, you have my permission to bring me back as really cool skeleton warrior to protect the weak and deliver justice. but if you give me a voice be aware that I will use for nothing except making bone puns. at every opportunity. for the rest of forever.

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

the polite BLACKBIRD: notices I'm outside and approaches, inquiring if I might have any food to spare the wicked STARLING: notices I'm feeding the blackbird and descends in a flock thousands-strong, each of them wailing like a banshee

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

Cultist is such a loaded term. I prefer "friend of the outer spheres" or maybe "adherent of cosmic truth". anyway, can you please stop trying to smudge the sacrificial circle with your foot

submitted 20 days ago • 0 comments

Be at ease, brave hero. You need not hide yourself from me. You are... weary, no? Your journey has been long, and the blade is such a heavy burden. Come. Rest a while. The others don't see it, do they? How tired you are. But I do. Yes. Sleep now. And when you wake - this war will be over.

submitted 21 days ago • 0 comments

going to tear this fragile reality asunder and summon horrors from beyond; you guys want anything??

submitted 22 days ago • 0 comments

You sleep. You dream. You change. You awaken. Layers of slumber slough away, leaving your mind glistening and wet. You cast your bedding aside - a used cocoon, nothing more. You are something new.

submitted 24 days ago • 0 comments

Sometimes I imagine pressing a knife into my flesh and running it along my bones, so I can scrape away all the dull aches. they look like tar.

submitted 28 days ago • 0 comments

FACT: everyone that liked that post about nuclear slimegirls would let that slimegirl hug them and succumb to deadly slimegirlification radiation (real thing look it up)

submitted 28 days ago • 0 comments

I wrote a prologue. Instead of posting it anywhere, I shall wait until tomorrow, then decide I don't like it and will never let anyone read it. Eventually, I will write another prologue but This One Will Be Good and I Will Show Somebody I Promise ((I have eight prologues))

submitted 31 days ago • 0 comments

thinking about those slimes again. Level 99 lich lord sitting on his throne of torment, petting his exotic silver slime and laughing nefariously as the paladin is lowered into a vat of undead piranhas

submitted 31 days ago • 0 comments

Accidentally ordered the nekonomicon instead of the necronomicon for my eldritch rituals. What am I meant to do with all these cats

submitted 37 days ago • 0 comments

really wish lil slime monsters were real... imagine the noise it would make if you pet one. splip sblip sblip

submitted 40 days ago • 0 comments

Trying to think of where the hell I got some of my fetishes came from but honestly I have no idea. I just started thinking about evil women at some point and it all went downhill from there

submitted 40 days ago • 0 comments

I thought my adhd medication wasn't helping very much but when I couldn't take it for a few days I actually felt like a useless pos so idk

submitted 42 days ago • 0 comments

handler/hound but it's handler ntr where the hound is beaten in combat by a GIANT MONSTER and their animal conditioning results in them joining the monster's pack

submitted 45 days ago • 0 comments